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My english wasn't perfect, so don't take this comment seriously, just random ppl on internet.
This wasn't even a complete Chapter so my opinion isn't worth at all.
I got 3 things in my mind ;
1. "King"
I assume it's for Julian? If it's not Julian just skip... Then you seems to go with a King who possess with a Demon Power backstory for Julian here?, while that is fine, but since he doesn't own any "Sword" skill on his movement, i prefer a True Demon backstory.
2. "Three young men"
i guess i want more of their backstory on the first chapter rather than just as a random ppl spawned and carrying some wood. And why you use Julian image here? You should use Davis Dennis and Woody image.
3. "Lion Rock Village"
A random village name while you have "Tai Hom Village", yes it's an actual village in chinese, but.... well at least you use "Lion". Nvm
3. Too much words for a fight?
The 1/2 of this whole text is about Three Young Men vs Mark and his teammate. Something like "Davis obliterate Mark himself" to show how strong this Three Young Men would be better ending for a first introduction chapter i guess. I mean they're going to fight a Demon, yet sound too much struggle against Mark? "Ready to unleash their strongest techinque"... erm... ermm....
That's all, "tengks".
Thanks for the words and glad to know you like the story I guess?King means another guy, while Julian is the great General of him.The story of those young men will be written soon, while this is not a very short story so I will use a little more time to develop.If you know Lion Rock is the symbol of Hong Kong, the origin country of the game writer, so. Lastly about the words of fight, I think it would be my style, but I promise the story would be more balance after.