Don’t forget correct punctuation. It also may be beneficial to you to put a line in between the dialoges of different people. Don’t forget your qoutations. Its harder for your reader when they have to work harder read the story. 

I hope you take this constructive critisicm and apply it to your future writings. I had someone help me a few years back. Writers are constantly evolving and I know you will get better with a little constructive critisicm.