Yeah…I tend to kill off a lot of my characters. Like a LOT. I think I do this partly because Rick Riordan ruined me, and partly because I’m just not okay. I bask in the tears of my readers, so to say. So here’s some tips on how to make a good character death scene, and then I’ll put in one of mine from Into the Woods. But I want to warn my readers right now, there ARE spoilers for Into the Woods. So read with caution.
Tip #1:
Characters and audience should know the character (that’s gonna die) well.
Now, this obviously isn’t true in ALL cases, but if you want to make a heartbreaking death, you should have some backstory first. This should make the death sadder, or even satisfying if the character isn’t very likeable.
Tip #2:
Describe the moments leading up to the death with a certain emotion.
Whether it be stress inducing or just sad, the moments leading up to the death are very important. Show how tense the situation is, or how some of the other characters are feeling.
This way, you and the other characters are both in the edge of their seats, or throwing your book (or phone) against the wall.
Tip #3:
The death
Now, your character death can be however you like it. Whether from natural causes, sacrifice, or just a sword through the chest, the death is one of the most important parts of making this count.
Make your readers sit there in shock as their mouths hang open. Make their eyes fill with tears as they realize, this character’s not coming back.
And as much as last words and confessions of love are great, another good thing to think about is having the character die “offscreen”. This is another good way to add shock value, and make your readers say, “No, they’re not dead, it can’t be.”
Tip numero cuatro (#4):
Other character’s reactions
This (in my mind) is the most important aspect of making a character’s death good. You don’t really know how sad a death can be without the other character’s reactions.
Do they fall to their knees and cry? Do they go on a killing spree? Do they stand there in shock? Remember: different characters will react differently. One person might show their grief one way, and another another way.
Think of how this character already acts. A sensitive character might cry. A stronger, more arrogant character might throw things around. Think about it.
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ONCE AGAIN SPOILERS FOR INTO THE WOODS DO NOT READ THIS UNTIL AFTER YOU’VE READ ISSUE 18: PETER
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“They’re here,” Peter said with a sense of finality. No matter where they went, the Dueglesteiners always seemed to find them. 181Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpl9aFc66Fg
Old Joe looked out too, but it seemed like he knew this would be coming.
“Old Joe?” Peter asked, “You still have that secret exit, right?”
“Of course!” Old Joe exclaimed with a look like he’d forgotten it. Old Joe’s eyes went to a glass case holding wooden carvings of animals from a small wooden duck to a wooden dragon that was a foot long.
“Help me!” Old Joe called as he moved over to the case. Luke and Peter jumped into action and with a bit of effort, they pushed it away to reveal a door that had been otherwise hidden by the case.
“This door has magic in it,” Skylar murmured to herself as if she could sense the power in it.
“Yes,” Old Joe agreed, “blessed by Sahir himself.” Old Joe boasted. Peter remembered the stories his mother had told him of the great wizard Sahir, who was said to heal any sickness and turn any metal into gold.
But Old Joe stopped bragging long enough to say to the door in an authoritative voice, “Open.”
Peter watched as the stone door slowly opened, with the sound of stone grinding against stone.
When the door opened, they could see a passage about 20 feet long, made of stone and at the end was the light of day.
“Ladies first,” Peter heard Luke say, and he gestured for Skylar to take the lead. She pulled an arrow from her quiver, and nocked it in place, slowly pulling the string back.
Alice went second, and Helen third. Richard was eager to be fourth. Luke gave Peter a look, then followed Richard.
Peter looked back at Old Joe, and asked, “Aren’t you coming with us?”
Old Joe gave him a sympathetic look smiling a sad smile, making his smile lines show by his eyes. Peter’s world fell apart as he saw the smile, the sadness in his eyes.
It was happening again.
“No,” Peter whispered, “No, you can’t-”
“Yer parents loved you, Peter. They loved you with all their heart.”
“Old Joe-” Peter tried to cut in, but Old Joe kept talking.
“When ya love someone, then ya sacrifice things for them. I never had a wife or children of me own, but I love ya, Peter, I love you as one of me own.”
“Old Joe, no.”
“So let me sacrifice somethin’ for you, Peter.” Tears were welling up in Old Joe’s eyes now, but he continued to give Peter that sad smile. Old Joe stepped back and out of the passage, then said to the door, “Close.”
Luke must’ve seen what was going on because he backtracked, and as Peter’s emotions grew more, Luke grabbed Peter from behind as he tried to move toward Old Joe. Peter yelled at Luke to let him go, tears flowing down his cheeks, and struggled to get out of Luke’s grip, but Luke was strong.
“Come on, we have to go!” Skylar shouted from ahead, but Peter didn’t hear her. All he could hear was Old Joe.
As the stone door closed, Old Joe nodded to Peter.
“Goodbye, Peter.”
Then the stone door shut, right as a tear trickled down Old Joe’s face.
“No…no!” Peter finally broke free of Luke’s grasp, pounding his fists on the stone door, hoping to open it.
“Open!” he shouted at it, “Open!”
But the door didn’t budge. Peter kicked at it with his broken boot, but it did nothing to the magical door.
In pain and in defeat, Peter sank to his knees on the floor, placing his fist on it again. Sobs racked his body, shaking him beyond anything Peter had ever experienced.
“Peter…” he thought he heard his mother say.
“Peter…” came the voice of his father.
“Peter…” Luke’s voice broke Peter from his trance, his hand on Peter’s shoulder. “Peter, I’m sorry, but we have to go.”
Peter only calmed down enough as they came out of the passage, and found a good spot to watch what would happen next.
As Boromir banged on Old Joe’s door, Peter held his breath. What was Old Joe going to do? For a paranoid old man, he was stubborn beyond belief. And Peter feared his stubbornness might tap into Boromir’s unchecked rage.
But deep down, Peter knew what would happen.
So why was he watching?
Peter watched as Old Joe came out of the door, acting as if he wasn’t expecting the soldiers demanding him to answer.
But a moment later, Old Joe must’ve made a mistake. Because Peter watched in horror as Boromir ran him through with his sword.
Peter gasped, and covered his mouth as he stifled a scream. The worst had happened.
No, no, no, Peter thought, This can’t be happening, he’s all I have left.
But even as the Dueglesteiners ran away, Peter kept finding his eyes wandering to Old Joe’s body, still lying in his open door...
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