“Oi, Yolg! I asked you to drain the oil from that hydraulic piston 15 minutes ago, what’s the bloody holdup?” I yelled across the shop.
Yolg’s head swivelled round like a ponderous turret and stared at me with an impassive look. “it takes time for the oil to drip out doesn’t it? S’not my fault is so slow.”
I glanced behind me and saw Yolg leaning against the wall with his pipe firmly gripped between his teeth and a drained pan of oil sitting below the battered hydraulic piston. One of my babies got into a scrap with an earth golem summoned by that cursed king of Aseaviel and had to be dragged home in three pieces. “Really? Because it looks to me like you’ve spent the last 15 minutes smoking that awful smelling shite and couldn’t be bothered telling me we were ready to start repairs.”
Yolg looked ready to protest then thought better of it and tapped out the ash from his pipe into a bin. “Yes your highness, right away your highness.” He replied with a bow and a smirk.
“For the last time, stop bloody calling me that!” I thundered at him and whipped the nearest object I could lay my hands on at his head, which just so happened to be a wrench.
Yolg yelped as it struck the thick metal wall next to his head, bounding forwards to lift the broken piston. “Bloody hell, Vanessa! T’was only a joke, nothing more!” he shot me a hurt look as he dragged the piston onto the operating bench and started undoing the clasps. While Yolg may not be the brightest bulb out there, he more than made up for it with his colossal physique.
“Yeah, well if you hadn’t noticed ya big lug, we’re in the middle of a bloody war here. So, you’ll forgive me if I’m anxious to get our damaged soldiers back onto the front lines before the bloody army of Aseaviel decides that it’s time to throw down again.” I glared at him with my hands on my hips in a way that was supposed to be intimidating but seemed to only bring a small grin to Yolg’s craggy face.
“Aw c’mon Vanessa, the last battle was only yesterday, and it ended in another stalemate same as always.” He replied while stripping down the pistol with deft fingers that you wouldn’t think a man his size would be capable of exercising. “It always takes them another fortnight to lick their wounds, gather their magical mumbo-jumbo and try again. Techropolis has never been breached yet, it hasn’t even come close to seeing real combat throughout this whole sorry ordeal.”
As much as it pained me to admit it, he had a point. While the armies of our Northern Neighbour, Aseaviel, had been waging war against our borders for 7 years now and while they made some headway, they were still a long ways away from laying siege to the capital. I sighed as I stripped my thick welding gloves off and brushed the metal shavings off the bandana keeping my crimson hair tied back and under control.
“Be that as it may, this war can’t keep going the way it has forever. Something has to give eventually, and we all know it – including my tentative father. He wouldn’t know the meaning of the word ‘attack’ if it bit him in the arse!” I paused to sweep my hand around the shop, gesturing to the ever-increasing piles of broken mech parts that littered every stray surface.
“And in case it has escaped your attention, while we have a finite amount of materials to convert into all manner of mechanical contraptions, that mad King Deo seems to have no problem throwing as many of his subjects at us until we crack.”
Yolg paused in his work and whispered, “Did you hear the latest reports Vanessa? The scout’s say that they are now fighting men as young as fifteen. Fifteen for iron’s sake!”
His words hit me like a punch in the gut. I’d been too preoccupied with putting our troops back together, studiously avoiding my father’s ever increasing attempts to get me to come to one of his dinners. They were a sorry attempt to drum up support from our neighbouring countries, countries that we were protecting from the onslaught of the Aseaviel armies. A simple virtue of our country being in the worst possible place.
You see, the only reason we’re even being attacked by the nation of Aseaviel is because when King Deo rose to power and started his reign of ‘enlightenment.’ Showing the continent what a proper arsehole he is and invading weaker nations to add them to his territory. In his mind he was simply sharing the amazing wealth that his nation had enjoyed for so long with the rest of the world. But for the rest of us, it meant we started getting invaded by bloody wizards left right and centre.
After subjugating all the nations around him, King Deo realized that he only had two options: invade the unknown lands to the far north, lands which were rumoured to be home to a people even weirder and wilder than they were, or turn his attentions south on the other side of the Dragonback mountains. Unfortunately for us, the kingdom of Mechorian settled in the only break in the mountains thousands of years ago to mine the rich minerals found deep within the earth.
So, in order to expand his borders anymore, King Deo needed to get though us first.
“Fifteen?” I asked, “But just last year he was sending seventeen-year olds at us.” The thought of my work sending men so young, little more than boys, screaming into the otherworld made me sick to my stomach. “When is it going to end? Next year are we going to be fighting pimply faced boys not even halfway through their growth?”
Yolg shrugged, obviously troubled just as much as I was about the whole thing. “Dunno, Vanessa. But I hope like hell that this war is over before then.” He had finished stripping the piston to its base components and picked up a hammer to start whacking it back into shape. “Listen, we both know that you don’t need to be standing around watching me beat my hammer for only the gods know how long. Why don’t you go and get a cup of coffee and grab a bite to eat? I know for a fact you haven’t had a break since we started, and that was six hours ago.”
I was about to protest when I realized he was right. “You know what Yolg, that might be the best idea you’ve had all week.” I replied as I stripped my heavy-duty work overalls off and hung them from a hook. “Any idea what the cafeteria is serving today?”
“Mutton!” Yolg’s face split in a wide grin.
I shook my head and laughed a little. “Guess I’ll go get some grub and be back before you know it. But I swear if I come back and you’re smoking that bloody pipe again…” I waved my finger at him and left the rest of my threat unsaid.
“Yeah, Yeah,” he waved me off “Go get some grub you flame headed little pixy you.”
The door leading out of the shop smoothly opened as I approached it and clicked securely back into place as I started down the hallway. People greeted me as I walked past and I acknowledged them in return, but I wasn’t really paying them much heed. Try as I might, I couldn’t get the idea of some poor scared little wizard staring down my big hulking mech knowing he was gonna meet his maker thanks to me.
o.O.o
There was a murmur of conversation running through the cafeteria when I strolled in – despite it being two hours past lunch. Only a dozen or so people filled the large hall and clustered around two tables drinking coffee. They chatted about what seemed to me as nothing more than trivial shite.
I absently watched my blurry reflection follow me along the polished metal walls, heading across the room to the collection counter. Glancing across the counter I spied the back of the burly cook, seeing him bob along to the music he had playing from his record player as he worked.
“Hey Coggid, don’t suppose you feel like whipping me up a bite to eat?” I asked as I leaned forward and rested my forearms on the bench.
Coggid turned and his face cracked into a wide grin. “Well aren’t you a sight for sore eyes, Vanessa! And here I was worrying that you didn’t have time for my world class cooking anymore! Seeing as you’re running your own battle bot workshop now.” He glanced up and down at my grease stained clothes and unruly hair and whistled. “Girl, you look like you need a long shower and few litres of degreaser.” He turned down the burner and walked over to lean against the bench.
I waved him away. “Oh, enough of that shite! You’re starting to sound like my damn father! If I had to shower every time I fixed up one of our mechs, Techropolis would run out water within a week.” I smiled at the thought. “Next thing I know you’re gonna tell me that I should start wearing dresses and tying my hair up in ribbons.”
Coggid laughed and threw his hands up in surrender. “No way am I suicidal enough to suggest something so foolish! ‘Sides, it’d take a dozen men and five meters of rope to subdue you enough to get you in a dress in the first place.” That’s always one thing I loved about Coggid. He knew exactly how far he could push while still being friendly. It was a line more than one man had crossed and wound up paying for.
“Oh, you little weasel!” I took a lazy swipe at Coggid and he danced backwards out of reach laughing.
“So, what can I get you? If you’ve got a few minutes to wait around and bless me with your company I can whip you up something special,” he leaned in close and put his hand to his mouth conspiringly. “Between you and me, the lamb stew we made for lunch was the worst thing we’ve served in ages. Shoulda never let Orgil put that fistful of thyme in, that damn boy has about as much cooking sense ass you do.”
I placed my hand on my chest like I’d been shot and gave him a mock grimace. “Now that is plain rude! I’ll have you know I make the best buttered toast this side of the Dragonback mountains.”
Coggid tried hard not to snort in laughter and failed miserably. “Oh, I don’t doubt it!”
“Anyway, I reckon I’ve got as much time as you’re willing to spend on me. Yolg basically said I look like shit – kicking me out of the shop to do some grunt work in peace and quiet. Take as long as you want.” Coggid grinned and waved me over to a seat.
“Give us five minutes and I’ll have a meal worthy of the High Minister himself!” he swirled around with a flourish and started grabbing pans and utensils whose use escaped me and whistled along to the tune playing from his record player. I’d always had a soft spot for Coggid, even if he was a few years older than I was and our interests were completely different.
While most of my people were wholeheartedly devoted to the ideals of technological progression and the advancement of science, few people saw the point in dedicating themselves to the arts. In our entire history you could count the famous artists without running out of fingers. This had gained us a reputation as dull and boring people to other nations. Coggid and his family were some of the only people in the entire nation of Mechroria who cared about advancing the culinary arts. It made him a bit of an oddity in Mechrorian society.
Growing up this passion had made him the subject of ridicule, dismissing the contribution his family had made to our people as a passing fancy. Coggid would always say that people who didn’t appreciate the simple pleasure of a good meal, were the same people who would be happy drinking the same tasteless nutrient slurry they fed coma patients.
“Well if it isn’t the little tornado herself in the flesh. I’m amazed you managed to pull yourself away from your big metal toys long enough to spend time with the rest of us mere mortals.” Someone said from behind me loud enough to snap me out of my train of thought.
I turned with an insult locked and loaded, but my insult turned into a groan when I came face to face with the dagger faced little prick who’d been annoying me my entire life. “The hell do you want, Sven?” I replied wearily. “I don’t have time to trade verbal jabs with a noodle-armed little mouse like yourself. I thought I’d made that clear by now.”
Sven sneered and gestured to his friends who had left their table and followed him over to watch the show. “Me and my co-workers were just taking a well-deserved break from our essential roles; when who should I happen to see lounging around? I figured why not come over and greet a fellow engineer.” He tried to say it like he was being wrongly being accused of something, but there was a predatory look in his eye the whole time his lips were moving.
Dressed in a wrinkled button up shirt and a pair of slacks, Sven was average height and looked like the kind of average and boring person who was born to sit behind a desk. But I knew there was a mean streak running through him wide enough to march a battalion of mechs through. He was technically a year older than I am, but we’d spent most of our educational years together due to me advancing above my level from an early age. I’d always known he resented me for preforming better than he did academically, and for that time I publicly turned him down in front of his friends when we were both 17.
I glanced around at the posse Sven had brought to bolster his own ego before glancing at him disdainfully. “I’m surprised that your friends can work hard enough to make up for someone who’s so mediocre.” I tilted my head and placed it upon my chin thoughtfully. “I mean isn’t that why you cried to your father and got him to give you that ridiculous promotion?”
Sven’s face darkened and he bit back “I’ll have you know I earned that-”
“Assistant Vice Manager! Now that’s a title you know only an arsehole would be proud to call their own.” I interrupted with a flourish.
Sven took a menacing step forward and hissed, “Why you little-!”
“That’s enough of that!” Coggid bellowed, freezing everyone in place. “I’ve said it once, and I’ll say it again! If anyone wants to fight in my cafeteria – they’ll have to go through me first.”
Sven turned angrily and opened his mouth to say something before Coggid stood up to his full height of 1.90m and crossed his thick arms over his chest, forcing Sven to think better of it. “Let’s get out of here guys, we’ve got important work that needs doing. We’ll settle this next time grease monkey.” Sven spat before turning and stalking out of the cafeteria, posse in tow.
I slowly let go of the breath I’d been holding onto and relaxed back into my chair. “Thanks Cog.”
Coggid shook his head as he stepped out of the kitchen holding a plate. “Y’know one of these days you’re gonna piss that little weasel off enough that he’s gonna do something stupid. Be more careful with him, yeah? Last thing anyone wants is for you to get hurt.”
“Why do I have to watch myself and he gets a free pass? Last time I checked he’s the prick who’s been waiting for his chance to humiliate me for over six years now! So, it’s alright for him to go out of his way to antagonize me and treat me like shit. But when I throw it back to him and he gets violent, I’m the one at fault?” I was angry now and some part of me wanted to chase Sven down and whack him in the head with the heaviest wrench I owned.
Coggid sighed as he placed the plate in front of me and eased his bulk into the chair across from me. “Look, you know I’m not saying this because I think he’s right, that’s just foolish.” He paused to nod at the big juicy lamb burger sitting in front of me quietly steaming away. The smell alone made my mouth water and my stomach rumble. Knowing Coggid wouldn’t start talking again until I started eating, I raised the burger to my lips and took a hearty bite followed by a small moan as the taste washed over my tongue.
“And you’re right, it’s not fair that you should be the one who has to watch their actions,” he continued, “especially when Sven goes around picking fights with everyone who can prove how inadequate he his. But the last thing I want to see is you getting hurt by that little mongrel because you said the wrong thing to him. We both know he’s a bloody psychopath. Sooner or later he’s gonna wind up chained to a pole in the Bowels where he belongs. But if you wound up getting hurt… I’d have to personally crawl down there and feed him to a compactor for what he’s done.”
I did my best to sigh and make sounds of agreement with a mouthful of burger. I finally managed to swallow and said. “Yeah, but it’s still bullshit. I’m being forced to walk this line between a rock and a hard place. Every time he blows up, I feel like I’m being punished for not standing there and taking his venomous words like a good little girl!”
Coggid shrugged and spread his hands. “Yeah, it’s stupid and we both know it. But if I knew how to fix the more toxic elements of male nature I sure as hell wouldn’t still be working in a cafeteria.”
I laughed and pushed the empty plate across the table to him. “We both know that’s a lie. You’d still be cooking in this place even if they tried to make you High Minister.”
Coggid grinned as he stood and grabbed the dirty plate. “Yeah, you’re probably right there. I’ve gotta get back to work. Dinner isn’t gonna cook itself! You stay safe, okay, Vanessa?”
“Yeah, yeah, I’ll watch my back. Thanks for the burger Cog.”
I kept turning what he’d told me around and around in my head while I was walking back to the workshop. No matter how I looked at it I still felt like I was being given the short end of the stick.
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