Knock, Knock...Who's There? - I have been waiting for this moment my whole entire life

Okay, here's some background knowledge. I post dad jokes daily (well, almost daily), and I finally can put them to good use. I hope it's okay that I just lumped basically all my jokes into one entry.

Why did the ghost use the elevator?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn2gzj14hah
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To lift his spirits.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazbc8kqtMU
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What do you call a French guy being mauled by a lion?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡG3lbDq6XBf
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Claude.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFRRSRqLRk3
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Why did the number of parking tickets spike when Persephone was carried off to the Underworld?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpRtXF4P7pJ
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Demeter wasn't working.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6MnKPmUCjx
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Yesterday I was washing my car with my son.

He said, "Dad, can't you just use a sponge?"249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt378QZCRP
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Genie: What is your final wish?

Kid: I wish I were you.

Genie: Weurd, but alrught.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡisPPNtsw5H
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What did the buffalo say when his son left for college?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTbuyuMYzHy
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"Bison."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs39RQ8U3cH
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Bread is like the sun.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOytt9WlX8f
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It rises in the yeast and sets in the waist.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXCfLVzOyNd
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A man walks into a magic forest and tries to cut down a talking tree.

"You can't cut me down," the tree complains. "I'm a talking tree!"

The man responds, "You may be a talking tree, but you will dialogue."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ95j6uSOIAV
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What's the last thing to go through a fly's head as it hits the windshield of a car going 70 miles per hour?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIFrUbfo0BM
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Its butt.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡksEEGBWMVr
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Two windmills are standing on a wind farm.

One asks, "What's your favorite type of music?"

The other says, "I'm a big metal fan."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjZKceOXXmm
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How do you get a farm girl to marry you?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1YBacttngj
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First, a tractor.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbeycvebike
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Gravity is one of the most fundamental forces in the universe. But if you remove it, you get...249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcdOUw5D5pO
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Gravy.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjI0SjCJ0Qh
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Medusa caught the eye of a street musician.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHb3JLZQnhW
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Now he's a rockstar.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDtpDyYUCyN
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A woman was 3 months pregnant when she fell into a deep coma and woke up after almost 6 months. She asked the doctor about her baby.

The doctor said, "You had twins, a girl, and a boy. They're both fine. Your brother named them for you."

The woman said, "No! My brother is an idiot! What did he name the girl?"

The doctor replied, "Denise."

The woman said, "Oh, that's pretty. What about the boy?"

The doctor let out a deep sigh, and said, "Denephew."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTf9L0YKIBU
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Do trees poop?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlWhhZ5XMmD
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Of course they do. How else would we get #2 pencils?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7YINwX5tIa
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What do you call a dinosaur with no eyes?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYJ1n1Co3ME
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A "do-you-think-he-saurus."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3RY4bopFhI
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Have you heard about the teacher who was cross-eyed?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeJphKVHDTF
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She couldn't control her pupils.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbMTIn40jdn
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What do peppers do when they're angry?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXqBhxKg3H
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They get jalapeño face.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLBFmm6C8k7
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Today someone told me I am average.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpr5qGVJ6BV
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I told them that's just mean.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2QK6JIdloG
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What do you call a pencil with two erasers?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEWGW4Vbog
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Pointless.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD4XvA1sHrD
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Dude 1: "Hey bro?"

Dude 2: "Yeah bro?"

Dude 1: "Can you hand me that pamphlet?"

Dude 2: "Brochure."249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdgMc99UmQt
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Did you hear about the racing snail who got rid of his shell?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOCTXwc0YgT
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He thought it would make him faster, but it just made him sluggish.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTfg6VvJ5OQ
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Have you ever tried to catch fog?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXSvr6wNTc5
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I tried yesterday but I mist.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICD0sQN9DN
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Why can't you ever run through a campsite?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQcp2OPYBDk
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You can only ran—it's always past tents.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfHcmGhwy2K
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What country's capital is growing the fastest?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJvLMfSzPRt
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Ireland. Every day it's Dublin.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwx0bKibhfh
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What has four wheels and flies?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8v6Yzx9ern
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A garbage truck.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqt1SDG9IcE
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I lost my job at the bank on my first day. A woman asked me to check her balance...249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj1kY6IETav
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...so I pushed her over.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrR9RUl3RJB
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Why do seagulls fly over the sea?249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN2BZ2kbdCi
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If they flew over a bay, they would be bagels.249Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIT5gv3Ct8J
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