"So we'll say goodbye for now," Becky said, her voice gentle and reassuring. "Take care of yourself, okay?"400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLb1W2wnwep
"Okay, bye."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdoqF9kQwyF
The door lock snapped shut with a “click”.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcwr2ylLSRz
Once again, I returned to my lonely and desolate world, facing the challenges of today, tomorrow, and the days to come. Alone.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhAKjDwWI0t
At least until I return for another counseling session.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHHDIp5a9FL
There was a time when that "click" would have sent me spiraling deep into anxiety, with cold hands and feet, and trembling all over. The sound was my life preserver, my only support, and I was left mercilessly alone to face this emotional monster called “depression”, devouring all my hopes. Staggering on the verge of collapse, I wanted to knock on the door again, clinging onto the only ray of light as tears streamed down my face.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsNUBRZEbbq
But my remaining sanity and dignity told me that this was something I had to face. Long is the road and cruel is the world.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh8YC5ncA3i
Becky was my psychotherapist. Since my family underwent a sudden change six months ago, I was gripped by depression. My friends Kevin and Penny recommended her service to me, hoping her expertise would lead me out of this labyrinth of desperation. 400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQGgTzRg1a6
Every time I met with Becky, she would encourage me to speak freely about my recent situation and problems. After digesting this information, she would pinpoint the key issues and ask me questions, helping me to reflect on my feelings and respond accordingly. As an information technology professional (an "IT person"), before every meeting, I would organize the key points I wanted to discuss and write them down on my phone to ensure efficiency.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4XCLlHVGtL
In response to her questions, my answers were usually concise and logical.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OjbjYpGqs
However, no matter how efficient and rational I strived to be, my rising emotions would often overwhelm the facade of control. 400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVszEf8m5xw
Especially when I talked about the past and touched on the deep wounds buried within me, my emotions would break down like a dam bursting. Like today, when Becky instructed me to close my eyes and recall some "images" from the past, recalling the most regretful episode in my life.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9DhdMS12N
I closed my eyes, recalling faces and events that had left a mark in my life. Finally, a person came to the fore: my grandma.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzp71TvE97
Scene after scene of the time we spent together came into focus, the vivid sharpness cut through my heart.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9imKWZZubj
"I remember grandma," I said softly, tears bursting out with endless longing.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZkxsdBuBrr
I couldn't stop crying for a full ten minutes, mumbling the same sentence over and over again.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKV7VmK6dKi
"I miss her so much, I miss her so much!"400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWc4L4XXE7A
She has been gone for over six years. When she developed dementia, she gradually lost her ability to take care of herself and had to move to a nursing home. And she couldn't recognize anyone apart from me. But I was always busy with work and couldn't find the time to visit. Day after day, month after month, I kept procrastinating, until one rare day when I left work early because I wasn't feeling well, I decided to visit her at the nursing home.
On the way, I passed by a Chinese bakery and remembered that she loved Chinese buns, especially the hot and spicy meat ones, so I bought two and shared them with her.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyLYzTHr4KA
"They're delicious!" She ate them with relish.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMFMCSzMwwD
"Shall I come visit you again next week and bring more meat buns?" I said.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4M2eNUdUYY
"Okay, okay!" Completely satisfied, grandma laughed like a child.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl3zG0GYLgD
So I made up my mind to visit her every week, no matter how busy I was, and to buy different types of Chinese buns to share with her, enjoying the simple happiness of being together, strengthening our bond through our taste buds.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9kG9GUkTLQ
Unfortunately, my plan fell through.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkJUsimIS3l
After that day, I never visited that Chinese bakery again.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc1nG0d60cA
Grandma's health suddenly deteriorated and she needed emergency treatment at the hospital. A few days later, she passed away.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFKtnmQrIC
The last words she said to me were "Okay, okay."400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BfcMYr5zf
This was probably the first "unforgettable regret" in my life.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi6Wz7JdIxI
“You are sitting on the edge of a rooftop. You are devastated. You are on your own. The choice is yours. You can turn left to get yourself back into life, or you can simply turn right to give in. Unfortunately there is no one that you can look up to for help. You have to make this decision on your own.400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡebaMP8cH8b
This is DEPRESSION.”
400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbp850zszP4
400Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9CkIJitBw0
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