Do you ever just...randomly get those bouts of depression and sorrow that you can't explain? That feeling that nothing is ok, you're world is coming down, doomsday, your heart aches, and you just don't wanna do anything with your life? When in reality there's nothing outwardly or inwardly wrong with you? The sadness just kind of...persists?
Is that an actual thing? Or am I just hung over on my fictional obsessions? Is it possible to feel heartbroken over something that isn't real? Is it even...acceptable? Or does that make me an emotional fangirl who should get a life?
I can't help the way I feel about the things I love, the emotion just comes out of nowhere. It's touched my heart in a way that I'll never be able to explain or write. Is it a legitimate fear to feel that you are constantly being judged because of something you love? Is it wrong for me to love what I love to the extent that I do? Can I love it too much?
Does it just mean something's wrong with me? That I should see a psychologist and get my head checked out? Do I care too much? Past the point of creepy?
Why are some things ok to love and others aren't? Why can't people accept that I love the anime I love with all my heart? Why is that wrong?
Sometimes I don't even know if it's worth continuing to love...maybe I should just do what I know they're thinking: throw it all away and do something normal, like paint. Or sports. But I don't love those things. Maybe I should forget I even started any of this. The pressure to keep going and the pressure to do something 'productive' with my life clash every day and I don't know which side is winning.
I don't want to feel normal. But I want to feel normal. I want to feel accepted. And loved for what I love. But how am I supposed to be happy with that thought if I feel ashamed for thinking it?1041Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbEYbc0rIas
Why does my life have to feel so broken because of something that isn't even real?
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