When I first met you, our lives were just about to begin.
The constraints of school were lifted, and all we had, is the desire to prove ourselves in the real world.
But with many congratulations, there were even more criticisms.
I wanted to escape, to avoid those impatient and shortsighted gazes, and start anew.
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Perhaps during travels, we will encounter different ways of living, and in places where no one knows us, we can do some foolish things.
Maybe as long as I'm with you, it doesn't matter where we are. we will always find ways to sustain ourselves, argue over trivial matters, and then makeup with each other again.
Back then, I was sincere, sincerely believing that as long as I'm with you, this life would be worth it.
Because you understand me.
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I told you the deepest desire in my heart, although I knew it was probably impossible to succeed.
I'm too romantic, and you're very practical.
But you said you were willing to dream with me.
With you by my side, I feel that everything is possible.
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Your thoughts are meticulous, while my ideas are wild.
In the almost desperate reality, we wander together in our fantasies.
In our little world, we simulate and design, and everything seems so perfect, just lacking the possibility of action to bring it alive.
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But you can't leave.
You have your responsibilities. You said you would watch me go far away and stay behind, being happy for me.
So young, yet you had to become the head of the family for your younger siblings since your parents passed away early.
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But I want you so much.
That night, I confessed my feelings to you, and you did something so sinful, yet it made me feel so relieved.
You didn't say you love me, because you knew it was impossible for us to be together.
Yet, the decision to stay by your side feels so right to me.
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My bags are packed, and they have been for days.
My aunt is urging me to leave, or else I have to pay her rent.
Your younger brother keeps nipping me, urging me to leave quickly.
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Of course, I have thought:
If only your siblings were no longer here.
If I could find another way to help you out of this predicament.
Otherwise, I will have to stay and work obediently, taking turns with you to take care of your sister.
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I was in so much pain.
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Should I love you, or love the world?
Should I love myself or should I let you love me?
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On the surface, I appear carefree, pretending I didn't want to come, but still, I come to see you as we agreed every day.
You have never said you want me to stay, but every day before we part, you give me the warmest embrace.
It's like you handed all your dreams to me, yet your brother still thinks you haven't done enough.
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The argument we out broke, is because my heart breaking for you.
And at that moment when your sister died, your heart shattered too.
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I quietly left. I fulfilled our dreams.
I don't have a new lover.
No matter how many people admire me, they are not you.
Every time I appear in the newspaper, I wonder: Did you see it?
Would you be happy for me, or are you still resentful?
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I heard you became a teacher at Hogwarts.
Will you have a new lover?
I heard people from the Ministry of Magic bother you because of our connection.
Would you just come to support me instead?
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Countless evenings of fantasies, countless times I wanted to send you a letter.
Day after day, I kept postponing.
Until I saw your students come into my way, again and again, I understood what you meant.
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You still resent me.
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Everyone says you are the only one who can stop me.
Even my subordinates hinted that I should deal with you first.
You stole our blood pact, which means you want to duel with me?
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You are too ruthless.
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On that day, we stood at opposite ends.
Under the gaze of everyone, I thought in my heart:
This was our dream, and you're just seeking revenge for a careless mistake?
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If I kill you, will you forever hold this grudge against me?
Without you, even if I achieve my dream, why would it seem all so meaningless?
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In the beginning, was I just longing for going on an adventure with you?
How does it all come to this end?
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So I closed my eyes and surrendered.
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My sins will only be judged by you.
It just feels too good to see you and to be embraced by you, again.
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