255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLIfMHzG9IQ
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUYdGuROXTb
和喜歡Kelvin的女生進行了一場不愉快的對話後，我便到了學校門口會合Kelvin：「行得。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqFU4RLRsl2
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKVlaBa2aW
「咁耐嘅？」他問。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgbrev0oTC
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5M7ZQDAiB
「嗯。」想要放鬆心情的我說：「不如今日去掃街，肚餓想食啲嘢。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKbhkxyW8r
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlT3d8cBmA
「好阿。」Kelvin和我並肩而行。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfLwJPs12Cq
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhi5ZnvTLm9
這不是我第一次和Kelvin單獨放學，可是我的心情竟然緊張起來。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVoIW6IHRBO
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEQcWPLGtn
自從被同學懷疑我和Kelvin、古榮的關係後，我的心便不再單純。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrLNBk1pms7
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsu9py6HFBy
我開始思考，難道我對他們抱有愛情的感覺而沒有察覺？到底怎樣才算是愛情的喜歡？255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxwudLG2pBq
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXOtpamsfrt
我仔細打量Kelvin的側臉。他有一顆性感喉核、單眼皮、微卷頭髮、手臂有因為勤力做運動而得來的小肌肉、永遠不願穿得整齊的校服。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvilV3kKKY
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5HvPMBFh0k
我第一次有這種想法——每天見面的Kelvin外型其實不錯，能夠和他去掃街真幸運。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0QjxcosG0
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxw45CgOFOr
人的想法很微妙，明明沒有事情發生過，我跟Kelvin本來就會相約一起放學和掃街，只因為幾句說話便能扭轉一個人的想法。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAkGKX7a2x
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxfPRZcSxGb
想法塑造習慣，習慣就是生活。一個人的想法非常重要，光用腦袋便能改變自己對世界的觀感。難怪校長時常訓話，學生必需留意自己說話的用詞。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojH9zExurc
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡo2wyAUwVvH
爸爸吸毒後會有這種感覺嗎？生活過於苦悶無新意，對身邊本來平平無奇的東西，從無到有，誕生了快感。就像吃完精神鴉片，內心一陣飄飄然。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx21Hv9rqXj
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwS40HNDBxg
「喂。」Kelvin打斷我的發情，還伸手摸摸我的額頭：「你係咪唔舒服？塊面咁紅嘅？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt5DZMHVOlY
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA2ZTDGfoFM
「咳咳⋯」我因為吞了一半的口水，嚇得狂咳。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQKZhd5QyDh
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqU4v8gwbLe
Kelvin拍拍我的背：「洗唔洗早啲返屋企休息？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡboaoeJDYN9
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWefyODlJhZ
「唔洗。我吞口水唔小心瀆親姐。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GSLkUz0oW
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXriToOxjvO
「咁蠢嘅人都有，你陣間食燒賣小心啲。」說話一啖砂糖一啖屎是Kelvin的特色。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHmXq4hyIIt
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO1Rl3y7iTJ
我站在Kelvin旁，一邊吃撈麵，一邊等待著我的芋圓鮮奶茶。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16LMdlp9Nt
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ03Iz3V6KFL
腦中是各式各樣的幻想。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QI96B8SDf
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWmSdfigJ2
如果我跟Kelvin談戀愛，會一直感受到這種飄飄然嗎？255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡONjLeRyn6B
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrr0sYnC1VR
如果會，戀愛似乎不錯。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvXTvHxxihF
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNBVEh8IAn5
「琴日睇新聞好爆阿，韓流巨星宣佈退出樂壇。」Kelvin說。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJeLafMJUV4
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpTeErGkniX
「係咩？我無留意。」我通常聽本地音樂，對外國音樂不熟悉。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfddPalGAg
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlT8MyifOS6
「原來佢做龜公，開間酒吧做毒竇，仲有堆明星朋友喺Group share落藥迷姦嘅片段，好痴線。」Kelvin說。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8AQ6kzgUiI
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqeizUiH8Qa
「咁癲？佢好似都幾紅。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJuzDeyPXj
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQdQ87M4h7x
「真係無樣睇。好彩你唔迷呢啲韓星。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSPlOrjhlWZ
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJshieEvsX
「點解咁講？」我問。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvDWmQDc20
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7a9zu8RFCx
「鐘意埋啲衣冠禽獸就傷心囉。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhFhcm25Nho
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnm0aS4lLx6
「我問你一條問題阿。如果你識人吸毒，仲會唔會同佢做朋友？」Kelvin的話題讓想起我的爸爸。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNcTcXlBNhI
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQjILUYbH5f
「唔會，我唔會接受。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwhtfcnD7Tu
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtWPPhkmfeC
「如果係你朋友嘅屋企人吸毒呢？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpf1yAZOP9O
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHay3nuRXhC
「咁就難講。」Kelvin說：「佢出入屋企品流複雜。我會盡最大努力幫佢，等佢唔好誤入歧途。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP2dSdwtHbt
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvRhFOoIz1n
我從來沒有嘗試幫助爸爸，鼓勵他離開黑社會：「屋企人吸毒，唔係朋友本人吸毒，唔代表會誤入歧途嘅。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRZFSFihTJ
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB4wMjp39r
想來爸爸也是身不由己賺錢還債，以他的能力除了保安、洗碗也沒有工作適合他，沒有站在他的立場勸喻也是種偽善。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6yE9nztXTj
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOe1qNepZZ7
「係好容易呀！如果你老竇喺房食冰隊草，你喺廳都會聞到啦，毒品喺你眼前，又會心郁郁想試。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3mXGIdWPv1
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfZpcIOLwJ1
「你唔係好鐘意幫人㗎咩？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3bEzB0IUMS
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIyAt0XnIP7
「阿婆行動不便，點可以相提並論！吸毒對我嚟講無咩討論空間！你話我歧視都係咁講，同賭錢一樣，無人拎住支槍迫佢，累己累人。幫過對方拒絕就算，連朋友都唔會做。留返俾專業嘅機構幫手。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjPY003eUae
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSUWT2kO7c
Kelvin的說話打破了我和他戀愛的幻想。跟正義的Kelvin坦白父親有吸毒習慣絕對是一件自掘墳墓的事。他會討厭我的家庭，管東管西，而需要倚賴父親生存的我在成年前也無法解決家庭背景的問題。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2fJCMN5kx
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12p41BN9tx
他無意的批評讓我內心不舒服。我是受害者，也很討厭自己的家庭阿！可是家庭的影響一直都在，它就像一道封印在身上除不掉的詛咒。無論是自己、抑或他人，同樣避之則吉。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡshBXVDcQ0c
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡloxsobNT6N
我寧願沒有開口詢問，沉醉在五分鐘前的粉紅色泡泡裡。我忘記了我和Kelvin是對難以找到共識卻常常一起的朋友。現在的我失去了幻想，變得更自卑了。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqGDrUm23Po
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYTUP0xSMS
我和Kelvin的關係並不穩固，他會隨時離棄我。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1zPxm5C1J6
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdqGdk0TrEh
婚姻的承諾都能推翻，更何況是乳臭未乾的戀愛。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3QAoszX8DL
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3JaHrgXHKj
「點解人係群體動物？點解人要互相來往？」我喃喃自語：「係自私，係計算？兩個人，一定係有利益先會走埋一齊。世界上根本冇無私嘅愛。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVqzfGvel9X
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL3m2PrNG9n
「咁功利，一齊開心唔得咩？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLvdIUTcYKv
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2U4uyMfn1o
「開心都係一種利益。可能對方人緣好，帶自己去認識朋友；可能係對方博學多才，學業上幫到自己；可能係自己孤單，想有人陪伴自己。總之就係因為利益開始，互相需要，到咗某一日，唔再幫到大家，就自然分開。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmN0rGr7dQL
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbvKeG9sRdL
我為未發生的事情擔憂。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4JAlYCVKD
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8TN5fdfyKV
面對關係看得見的分岔，倒數著珍愛的關係終會消逝，無力感擴散。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB2Px5OiGiC
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6o0NE7Cafm
「你今日做咩事咁多愁善感？」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRA6SFTAquF
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7IlIMLbYy
「無呀。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeEZPJG1RYs
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuPSFr4lUKe
「我知啦，思春期！中二病！」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2eIFBrIUo
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZFd71nAlIr
「唔知呀！你話係就係啦。」255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgQlB1QTwLi
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEdm5BysKyr
人生就是各種徒勞無功的零碎。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCXVtzgMGSA
255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSiDIGESFKy
難過。255Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡljwlwv3lVe
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