我鍾意同妳鬥氣，其實只係因為… （已完結） - 七十八

七十八

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「點會冇嘢吖…」葉佩儀嘆咗口氣，道︰「我好擔心佢啊。」

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「佢真係病咗？」

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估唔到葉佩儀既諗法其實同我一樣，佢答︰「其實我都唔知…佢而家咁，尋晚喊到咁攰，真係病咗都唔出奇。不過，就算係詐病，比佢抖下都唔係壞事，佢好痛苦啊…」

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我無奈地點點頭，事實上我都好認同葉佩儀既講法，尤其是而家係試後活動既日子，唔返學對譚梓淇呢類好學生響學業上其實冇乜損失。

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「我哋行喇。」我望一望隻錶，道︰「時間尚早，我哋慢慢行。」

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我好少咁早已經出咗門口，今日係因為諗住搵埋葉佩儀一齊去接譚梓淇返學，預鬆咗好多時間，點知而家譚梓淇「病」咗，變相真係大把時間慢慢行，直頭食個早餐都得。

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唔係喎，如果唔駛等位既話真係可以去食早餐喎！

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我咁樣提議，葉佩儀諗咗一陣，本來似唔係幾想，但唔想拂我意思，所以點點頭︰「你話點就點。」

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我哋去咗葉佩儀屋企附近既一間連鎖式茶餐廳叫咗個好行既早餐，不過葉佩儀好似冇乜食慾咁，佢係咁督眼前果舊多士，但係就冇食到，淨係一臉愁容咁。我識葉佩儀咁耐，真係從來都未見過佢露出咁憂愁既表情。

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真係睇到個心都痛埋，我問︰「咩事啊葉大小姐？」

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「唔得閒同你玩啊。」

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我聳聳肩，真誠地道︰「我關心下妳啫。」

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葉佩儀抬起頭，望咗望我既表情，確定我唔係白卡發作，之後先開口︰「我驚淇淇做傻事啊。」

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「傻事？」

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葉佩儀冇我咁好氣既樣，諗咗一諗，道︰「即係…唔…傷害自己啊。」

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我嚇咗一跳，問︰「妳指既傻事…唔係指淇淇可能…可能自殺啩？」

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唔會既，陽光女神唔會玩咁大吓嘛？

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葉佩儀個樣仲係好愁，道︰「最壞既情況係咁…」

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「唔會啩…？」

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「你唔係唔見佢尋日喊得幾淒涼架喇？」葉佩儀道︰「佢咁傷心…我真係好擔心佢會唔會傷害自己啊。」

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我真係想像唔到︰「佢平時個人咁開朗，點會自…自殘啊？」

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我爭啲想講自殺，不過急煞制，將呢個字改為自殘。

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真係大吉利是咩！

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葉佩儀白咗我一眼，道︰「你真係唔了解淇淇。」

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「啊？」

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「佢係果啲對人歡喜背人愁既人黎。」葉佩儀嘆咗口氣，續道︰「佢係一個好鍾意幫人、幫身邊既朋友既好女仔，但係同時佢會將所有負面既情緒同壓力都收收埋埋，唔會向任何人表露出黎，因為佢唔想要任何人擔心，唔想比人覺得佢有任何唔開心。」頓了一頓，又道︰「我最擔心就係…佢會唔會將所有負面情緒積壓得太勁，令到壓力爆晒煲出黎…令到佢既心情一發不可收拾，做出啲…唉…」

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我諗起譚梓淇尋晚果個喊得咁淒涼既樣，覺得葉佩儀好似講得冇錯…佢咁樣喊法，就好似係將所有積壓住既壓力一次過爆晒出黎咁。

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話時話喎，其實長大咗既我係咪都係啲咁既人？同當時既譚梓淇一樣，淨係會收埋唔開心，分別只係譚梓淇係對人歡喜背人愁，我係對人白卡背人愁啫。就好似鍾意葉佩儀呢件事，我係去到佢宣佈要結婚之後，我真係就黎崩潰搵余正熙出黎傾過…如果我一早搵人傾既話，我同葉佩儀既結果係咪會唔同呢？

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我諗起葉佩儀向我公佈婚訊當晚，我將佢交比石生之後，我真係一副神不守舍、恍恍惚惚既心情，甚至過馬路既時候有一刻真係覺得比車車死都冇所謂…

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中四目睹譚梓淇分手既時候，雖然我知道譚梓淇係極度傷心，但其實我真係想像唔到果種撕心裂肺既感覺…直到而家，自己身歷其境，我諗…我多多少少有啲明白譚梓淇果一刻既心情。

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如果冇朋友、家人睇住，以佢對余正熙既深情，真係做啲乜嘢傻事出黎都唔出奇。

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望住我既戇鳩樣唔識比反應咁，葉佩儀自己諗咗陣，道︰「都係唔得，我都係打多個電話比淇淇媽咪，同佢講聲先。」