When is not being okay, okay ? - Nyx

When is not being okay, okay ?27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡldpXQ8Enue

I used to wake up every morning, my eyes heavy with exhaustion, feeling like I was living a lie.

I was trying so desperately to keep everyone happy with what they only wanted to hear, and it ended up sucking me up dry. Yup.. I was toast... Burnt toast..

I was constantly putting on a show, pretending everything was alright and okay and that I was content with everything.

At the same time, I thought everyone around me had it all figured out, while I felt like I was the only one who was being held by the clutches of existential dread.

But I was far from being okay.

Every day, I felt like I was going further and further away from the real me too, and I couldn't do anything about it.

I felt trapped and helpless, like I was slowly being suffocated by the masks I wore, and at the same time, the walls were caving in on me, and there was nothing I could do about it.. Absolutely nothing..

I was so desperate to be true to myself, but I thought it was too late for me to take off the facade I had worn for so long.

It was a never-ending cycle of despair and dread and the constant push and pull of euphoria and melancholy, and I grew increasingly tired of my life.

I wanted to break free from the lies, but I didn't know how.

Everyone all around me was content with my lies, and I was lost in my own despair.

But then, one day, I decided that enough was enough.

I went to a nearby pool and just stayed there, letting my feet dangle in the water and my fingers touch the cold surface.

I looked up at the starry sky and thought of how I wanted to be free to be me—the real me.

I closed my eyes and slid underwater,..

Letting the water fill me whole as I drowned in my own solitary death.

After a few moments, I succumbed to the darkness..

..and died alone in that pool.

Thus, I was drowned by my own helplessness in that pool of despair,..27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9TPGepcBl9

..never to be seen, nor heard from again.27Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRXo4L5OLmn

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