THE FOOL. - Hope Was All I Had

There are things… and there are people.

Some I know.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs5VswnGNx6
Some I love.

And somehow, the ones I love… they never stay.

I never asked for much.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY7PMGgQs6A
Not love. Not promises.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2rntPo3Bf
Just her presence.

But saying goodbye—typing it even—is far easier than living with it.

Because I cared. Deeply.

And now, I don’t know how to remember life before her.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3w8qCBnI5X
Before the shared evenings, the bus stops, the laughter, the silences.

Still, I knew I had to let go.

Not for me.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhMqEHQ4RS8
For her.

Because if me walking away gives her peace, then I’ll walk.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91FIMbGu1d
Even if it means leaving behind the part of myself I found in her.

But I didn’t want it to end quietly.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhUrQZk10ef
I wanted it to hurt, to leave a mark—because that’s what she meant.

And so, I became the villain in my own story.

I decided: if she needs a reason to forget me, I’ll give her one.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡio0RS0jvJ7
A clean break. A wound that heals with time, not confusion.

So I dug out what I buried long ago—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJuwL5P3DtD
The confession.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLgT63M4srz
The one I promised I’d never say.

I poured everything into a message—everything I was, everything we were, and everything I wanted her to be.

And one night, between externals, I confessed.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4DZusJMR5c
Over WhatsApp.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiDCruXV4q5
No buildup. Just heart.

I told her the truth she never asked for.

And I knew the answer.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1KE6Rhvxxy
Of course I did.

It would be a no—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqyFsaSsg2y
In the present,92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWO2ExH1S8V
In the past,92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ5bsph8ej2
And in any faraway future I could imagine.

But she replied:

“I need some time.”

And I said I would wait.

Not because I believed the answer would change—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9V29QM15df
But because that’s what confessions are for.

To end things the way they should’ve never begun.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc2fUqIaUHm

She asked that if I knew what her answer would be.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTzf95OV9Uh
I replied 49/51.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJUrdCynJZQ
Knowing damn well that it was 100% a No.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBCvVDA8E1
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡn1lBjdmLm1
but something deep inside replied with a 49% a Yes.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgekaOF0zP4
even it couldn't say Yes a 50%.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8S2EFQUq3H
cause It and I knew from a long time.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTSBN036Cc5
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLs9uWAB6I
The externals started.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXw1r2aBYOZ
The rush came back flying.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLt60icSP40
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV9U1w7bFvu
While I was in a war with thoughts.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKNHmBfVBZ
And as the days went on.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm2FIr4VUW2
92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgB56hy8jte

One random night, while I waited in silence,92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoAO62MoAD6
The universe had one more tragedy to give.

Outside my home, I sat alone under the sky—my mind a war zone of logic and hope.

My mother stepped out for a walk, along with Potti—my dog, my companion—and her one and only pup.

The pup didn’t even have a name yet.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT57aHnOi4g
I was waiting for Seren to name her.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHSUyCvZQ89
But life didn’t wait for names.

Suddenly, a pack of street dogs came rushing.

They attacked—vicious, fast, merciless.

Without thinking, I ran to them—bare hands, bare heart.

I tried.

God, I tried.

Screaming, pushing, shielding Potti and the pup.

But it wasn’t enough.

They bit me, tore into my arms and legs,92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGdm8YpD97T
while I wrapped myself around the ones I loved.

Six dogs.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHh5Tiyu0NS
No help.

Until my father and neighbors came rushing.

But by then—

It was too late.

In my arms, Potti lay still—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz2D5D3slwG
Her fur stained with blood, her neck torn.

The pup, her tiny body broken, missing a leg,92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXRPDaslzlI
barely breathing.

We rushed them to the nearest hospital.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQBYqQflgmS
Tears finally came after years of holding them back.

But hope was all I carried.

And hope was not enough.

They couldn’t save them.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrqvLYiUOXs
No one could.

And I was left—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQK4JOJF17I
Bloody.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetsP0euDS2
Bitten.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnH6rC6dD4Q
Alone.

A boy with too many wounds—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsX1SGJE4QW
Some you could see.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0mzirRFMYj
Most you couldn’t.

I didn’t know what to do.

So, that night, I messaged her.

“Hey, are you awake?”

There was silence in my house.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtJy6u1O94
And an even louder one inside me.

I had an exam the next morning.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ9P0ycK9Rv
An external.

But nothing felt more urgent than that question I couldn’t stop asking:

What matters more—92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKK7AqkeYzR
The present or the future?

Until that night, I never even thought about it.

But that night… I got my answer.

Both matter.

And yet, when forced to choose, we weigh them.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKkcNqNN8F8
We try to balance what we feel and what we know.

The heart says stay.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREB9IPO849
The mind says go.

One believes.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnoCsQaDj0Y
One doubts.

One clings.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQl1b6PLusI
One lets go.

And so I waited for her reply.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvT1vwKXsvQ
But it didn’t come.

Morning came instead.

Same bus.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLAPprDbt3H
Same college.

But I wasn't the same.

I wore a mask—like always.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxoajO5cIW
Attended the exam.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVUOnOaF5XM
Laughed with friends.92Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtxT4hdiPG
Pretended.

Because that’s what Rudeus is for.

But who could’ve guessed?

That in the evening—

After everything had burned down—

The answer to my confession would finally arrive.

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