"Psst,hey buddy",said a voice in the darkness.

Smedly fell into his instinctive crouch, revolver at the ready.(Or maybe it's a Walther PPK,who knows,who really gives a fuck?)

"I hear you knocking,but you can't come in.Show yourself,or else I start blasting hot lead."

"Hold your horses,Mac,"the voice implored."I just wanted to offer you a good head job.No need to go off your gourd and start shooting up the joint."

The private dick peered into the inky black.The foul water of the artificial river moved in strange concentric motions.

"How much?"

"How much for what?"

"Information.And a sleazy blow job."

"That depends."

"How about twenty clams?"

"Agreed.Show your stuff."

Smedly reached into his trousers and pulled out the loot.

The monster goldfish in the turgid depths wrinkled his nose in discust.

"Hey, something smells fishy here."

"So I'm Pre-Op, what's it to ya?"

"Glub Glub Glub"

The creature got a little too into his work and bit off his dick.

"Ouch!"Smedly whined."Godamn that hurt.Just the way I like it.Now I'm walking around without a dick.What will the neighbors say?"

"I got some super glue,"the monster said,"just a dab and you'll be spiffy."