/story/185036/交響j評文-心得專欄/issue/25
交響J評文/心得專欄 - 【中二狂想】評文 | Penana
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交響J評文/心得專欄
ISSUE #25
【中二狂想】評文
No Plagiarism!nkQAwZqGKfmVt9ySBXmSposted on PENANA
發話人或其語氣動作可以不用單獨一行,直接寫在對話的後面78Please respect copyright.PENANAco1RoESXSJ
8964 copyright protection74PENANAdjA2tCa6WB 維尼
「魚,你還沒放下嗎?」水母的聲音在我旁邊響起。78Please respect copyright.PENANAKx5pP8d21q
8964 copyright protection74PENANAHHiTrxpNac 維尼
這裡不需要括號喔8964 copyright protection74PENANARVEbiGmVaL 維尼
這邊轉場到回憶,加上一句:我憶起一年前......,這樣才不會場景換得太快來不及反應,反而覺得故事場面很混亂。78Please respect copyright.PENANAnRmF7uqLAG
78Please respect copyright.PENANAmBVzLGZfd8
這個場景轉換到現在,可以在開頭加一句,回憶隨著最後一根薯條吃盡而結束。後面在接續水母的問題會比較流暢78Please respect copyright.PENANAptau8LuVlA
8964 copyright protection74PENANA0o4OvAJb9B 維尼
以上所提到的問題在文章中一直反覆地出現......78Please respect copyright.PENANAIOXIRGcsXq
78Please respect copyright.PENANAMY3UETRPA0
所以劇情其實蠻活潑的,只是被這些小缺點遮蓋的故事的好看程度,建議作者先把這些問題修改好,再投稿一次,我再幫你看看劇情的部分安排是否妥當。78Please respect copyright.PENANAm3NFFHjsIZ
8964 copyright protection74PENANAafv9KkEkdn 維尼
謝謝你的分享,建議僅供參考。^^78Please respect copyright.PENANABMoVFFgYBw
8964 copyright protection74PENANArERX2We3qr 維尼
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