When that sentence dropped—"I hope this will be a good match"—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswAwhVhVW7
it felt like a weight slammed down on Suzuran’s chest.
She lowered her gaze, quietly pulled her eyes away, and could no longer swallow even a bite of the dessert.
A moment later, she bit her lip and said, her voice as light as the wind drifting across the dinner table:
“…I’m full. I’ll head back to my room.”
“Huh?” Her father, Masaharu, blinked, a hint of concern in his voice.
But her mother, Kikyo, simply smiled gently and said,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQv0gcdiHbc
“That’s fine. A young lady’s heart takes time to process things.”
Suzuran rose from her seat, the hem of her dress swaying gently with her steps.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzOpPYodruz
She didn’t look back—afraid that if she turned around, all the emotions she’d been holding back would burst out.
Kimijima stood silently by the wall, watching her walk away. His expression remained calm—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw76lPBjvL3
but his fingers clenched slightly around the tray he was holding.
Back in her room, Suzuran locked the door and collapsed onto the soft cream-colored carpet,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdlSKNYCeoo
finally unable to hold back her tears.
It wasn’t because she hated Amagi Yuto.
That cheerful, brilliant, well-mannered classmate was—on paper—impeccable.
Nor was it because of her parents’ expectations.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjilONiNQ47
She knew they had never forced her. They’d only said:6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzifXLSaikm
“Give it a try. If it doesn’t work, that’s okay.”
But still, she cried—cried so hard her chest throbbed in pain.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKdGYLZIEaY
Because that sentence… had taken root inside her.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAEfZ7Z7kX
It coiled around her heart, tightening with every breath.
Because now, she finally understood—
The man she had secretly loved for so many years.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ48eud7Ee3X
The one who had been by her side for nearly half her life.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfrFBRhGwA9
The one she thought—maybe, just maybe—might like her back, even a little...
Kimijima Koichi—
He had only ever looked at her with loyalty.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GWXHHa0yA
With gratitude.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwVDYokU2ul
With unwavering duty.
There was never desire.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgOxGaQBUbU
Never hesitation.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0SWdpADYo
Not even the faintest sign of emotional conflict or regret.
He’d smiled and wished her a "good marriage."6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4WXDro3pyV
Steady. Courteous. Perfectly appropriate.
Just like he did every morning when he laid out her breakfast,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaDQz6dgLg7
pressed her school uniform,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGcrXwmgCK7
or handed her umbrella in the rain.
She once believed she meant more than that umbrella.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzT60E2VU1W
More than that ironed collar.
But she didn’t. She wasn’t.
She was only—
“My lady.”
Forever.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0iczCP4A6D
Only.
“My lady, it’s me.”
A soft knock came at the door, followed by a familiar, steady voice.
Suzuran jolted upright on the bed, startled from her daze.
She quickly grabbed a handkerchief to wipe away the tear tracks on her cheeks. Her heart pounded wildly.
“…Koichi? Why is he…”
She hesitated, then quietly opened the door just a crack, making sure he wouldn’t see her swollen, tear-stained eyes.
Outside, Kimijima Koichi stood as calm and composed as always, dressed in his usual deep gray butler uniform, a tray in hand.
Seeing the door open, he spoke gently, with impeccable composure:
“My lady, I noticed you hardly ate dinner. I’ve made some sandwiches and light desserts… nothing heavy.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW5qxfITxzx
If you’re not feeling well, perhaps you could eat a little.”
Suzuran lowered her gaze, unable to meet his eyes—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhju3NLvgD3
the eyes she could sketch by memory, yet that showed not a ripple now.
His care was flawless,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3Nmyeuh2vM
his tone was gentle,6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzI9voCjdd9
but the distance between them remained—chillingly unchanged.
She sniffled, her voice soft:6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgGwPVbTar3
“…I’m fine.”
Kimijima paused, then replied:6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8F9vwVQr7q
“If you’d prefer, I can leave the tray outside. You can take it when you’re ready.”
That offer—so thoughtful, so proper—was also precisely the problem.
Even when he must’ve known she’d been crying, he refused to cross the line.
“No, Koichi. You can come in.”
Her voice trembled slightly, but she forced a calm tone.
He bowed and stepped in, placing the tray carefully on her desk.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtLI2m17N9Z
The sandwiches were neatly cut.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEBIu2MMWfy
There was her favorite apple blossom tea.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZHuXgtsm0Q
And a slice of soft whipped cream cake.
Everything—exactly to her taste.
“My lady… are you alright?”
He turned to her, his eyes calm, his voice soft like moonlight on a spring night.
Suzuran didn’t answer. She bit her lip hard. Her eyes burned again.
Kimijima hesitated, then asked:6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8fhaAZ5lZO
“Is it that you don’t like Yuto Amagi?”
He smiled gently—no pressure in his tone.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRPo1QBllW0
Like he was asking if she wanted Earl Grey or Darjeeling.
That calm smile—without even a trace of bitterness—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMssbm16gae
hurt more than anything.
“…No,” she finally replied.
“He’s wonderful. Truly.”
“I don’t dislike him…”
She looked up at him—only to find he was standing still, hands folded, keeping a polite distance.
Like a wall.
“It's just... some answers,” she whispered, “I’ve been waiting for... will never come.”
She smiled. And cried.
He didn’t speak.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI8MArf2mZ7
Just bowed his head, silently.
“My body feels unwell... could you feed me?”
Her voice was soft, and her eyes pleaded quietly.
Kimijima blinked. “Me?”
“Yes.” She leaned back into the chair with a faint smile.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxchqveKLW3
“I’m feeling so weak… I can’t lift my arms.”
He glanced down at her, but said nothing more.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5sB6Jx2SS
Instead, he calmly said:
“Then please lie down. I’ll feed you.”
Helping her gently, he guided her to bed with a steady hand—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk5YXl7wzyT
all done with flawless professionalism.
Suzuran’s heart fluttered, but she obeyed.
He sat by her bedside, picked up a piece of sandwich with a fork, and held it to her lips.
“Open up, my lady.”
She looked at his composed face and asked quietly:
“Do you… not think this is too intimate?”
He calmly replied:6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP1UUHCUTnF
“You’re my responsibility. I’ll take care of you.”
That sentence—
cut colder than any tea without sugar.
After the last bite, he gathered the utensils, as if nothing had happened.
Her heart pounded. She feigned calm:
“Koichi… one more thing.”
“My shoulders are sore… will you massage them?”
He paused.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa7uXvJngM7
“That’s something Lady Sisimi can assist you with—”
“No.”
She suddenly raised her head, voice firm and stubborn.
“I want you, Kimijima Koichi.”
Her gaze held him.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXsV96dsBBn
Raw, desperate, aching—with a touch of challenge.
“This is an order.”
Kimijima stared at her.
No emotion on his face.
Just silence.
Then finally—he knelt behind her on the bed.
“…As you command, my lady.”
He placed his hands gently on her shoulders.
Steady. Measured.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHPfu2uScgc
Every touch restrained by invisible lines.
And that—
was what hurt the most.
"How pathetic... I have to order you... just to be touched," she thought bitterly.
She bit her lip, then suddenly pulled her nightgown slightly off one shoulder.
Smooth, pale skin glowed under the lamp.
“If I can’t move you tonight…”6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDQIGK8JWAj
“Then I’ll give up.”6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUrpwa1MYBT
“But I want to be selfish. Just once more.”
She didn’t turn. Just waited.
Kimijima’s breath faltered—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBydwcPSqhk
his fingers stopped right at her collarbone.
A half inch lower—6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi2ri80VSZO
and he would cross that forbidden line.
One second.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGTADq8PyfE
Two.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjLauZJwOfv
Three.
Then—
he withdrew his hand.
“…My lady, what is this?”
“I want an oil massage. It’s more comfortable,” she said, pulling her neckline lower on the other side.
His hand hovered mid-air.
His voice came out strained—no longer calm, but clipped and trembling:
“…Please don’t joke like this.”
Suzuran didn’t answer. She turned slightly, lashes low, a strange smile on her lips.
She wasn’t joking.
She was gambling.
“If I don’t do this now… I’ll regret it forever.”
“I just want to confirm something.”
Her voice was light—almost lost in the silence.
“I want to know… if you’ve ever seen me as a woman.”
Kimijima froze. His eyes flickered.
“…My lady, I am a man.”
“But your father saved me.”
His voice cracked with tension.
“You doing this… I’ll lose control.”
“Then Koichi… does that mean… you’re shaken?”
Her voice trembled. Full of longing and fear.
Her heart beat wildly.
All she wanted—was a reason to stay.
Kimijima lowered his gaze. His breathing unsteady.
“Please… value yourself more. You shouldn’t—”
“I do value myself, Koichi.”
She looked him in the eyes.
Soft. Sincere. But unwavering.
“Exactly because I do…6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡalDIYQsYtB
I want the first man who touches and kisses me—to be you.”
“Not Amagi. Not anyone else.”
That sentence—
like a key that cracked his last restraint.
His eyes widened.
Something inside him—
finally broke.
He reached for her—pulling her into his arms.
But not with force.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFQ50jORhjd
With aching gentleness.
His forehead rested on hers.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMvvdC1KS2T
His breath trembled.
“…You don’t know what you’re doing to me…”
His voice was so low, it almost didn’t exist.
Not a confession.6Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb7twRYmElH
Not a refusal.
Just a fracture.
Suzuran’s eyes glistened.
She finally knew what she wanted.
“Koichi…” she whispered.
“I order you—”
“Kiss me.”
Silence.
He froze.
“Kiss my lips, Koichi.”
He shut his eyes tight.
Like he was battling a storm inside his own body.
“…I’m sorry, my lady.”
His voice was gentle.
But trembling.
“This… is the one order I cannot obey.”
Suzuran stared.
Then the tears came, like a dam breaking.
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