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I don’t even know when it started—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWNkiL8CtJg
this quiet, growing love I have for Kouichi.
When we were little, I always thought of him as my younger brother.
He was always quietly by my side—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡehWW6QvpDy
picking up my fallen hair clips,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB9XiG82TjZ
handing me a handkerchief when I cried.
I thought he was smaller than me,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMIwoIIyuWN
someone I had to look after and protect.
But at some point—he had grown taller than I was.
When he walked beside me,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVTrfEFFZGx
his shadow stretched longer, broader.
His voice had deepened.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE7RkhWPFau
His eyes had grown more still.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpnviEdOl6s
And he no longer nodded at everything I said—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvHcGe4IHV6
he had learned how to say “no.”
It was in that moment I realized—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbN2TY7pL7J
I could no longer see him as a younger brother.
Because he had become… a man.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLzIBXeBITb
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When he stands too close, I blush.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOL6j9Fa1LS
My heart skips.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4hUyK2aXno
Even just meeting his eyes makes it hard to breathe.
If I go a whole day without seeing him, I get restless, unsettled—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ37wXVU9kWQ
and my mind keeps replaying his face, his voice, over and over.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2vz3wgm1cd
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And whenever I do see him,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUn2Fw2F6ix
my gaze can’t help but follow him—
From the tousled strands of his hair,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXceXIBsZM0
to his long, dark lashes,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAYvZKxfsNz
to the steady rise and fall of his chest as he breathes.
Even the light texture of his skin under the sun,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvuDWVgGQGN
the curve of his shoulders… and—
That tiny mole on the right side of his neck.
And then…18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6U5g6fTLS
there’s his Adam’s apple.
It moves slightly whenever he talks or swallows—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfzbLcWAzRD
and every time,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKpX9c400We
I find myself wondering what it might feel like18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16bIeuV4jB
if I brushed my fingertips across it.
Sometimes, I even catch myself staring at the shape of his lips.
He doesn’t have to say anything—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMtFrcAatek
and still, I can’t help imagining:
If one day, those lips pressed against my skin…18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOoQVmqe15C
my forehead,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjDlonj792
my ear,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzeFkQmxNSX
the back of my neck…
And finally—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZoUPvsgs76
if they pressed against my lips—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ99q8QDTnVd
what would that feel like?18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKQpvVIMZCS
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It’s like a melody.
A melody I accidentally heard the beginning of,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiNJqS7NkIe
and now can’t stop listening to.
It’s not loud,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyknHFsr8g
but it loops endlessly inside me, quietly—
And before I realized it,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOZCiYIEGGF
I was already too deep to escape.
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That day, he was driving me to school.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREZihoGvEu
It was supposed to be just another ordinary morning.
Until a little girl suddenly dashed into the street—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqmnrDZunSO
and he hit the brakes.
The tires screeched against the road,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYqAtKJR7f4
and the car jolted violently.
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZMUvkBavrp
Before I could react—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8GFuK9Ey7H
his left arm reached across me,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR2vbXvhFbU
blocking me protectively across the chest.
Just two… maybe three centimeters more,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw5ZRReu33P
and he would’ve touched me.
That wide hand hovered there, fingers slightly spread,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJjN3ZREXLv
knuckles sharp and veins faintly visible.
It was so close I could almost feel the warmth of his fingertips—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswA10PgwmI
and the tremor in the air between us.
His hand was still trembling.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKzdWLdGwcX
Almost imperceptibly.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxUzmUNXCA
Not out of fear—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡANMpCIxEhc
but from the lingering adrenaline, the instinct to protect.
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And me?18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiMXCS6yLN
I was already blushing to the tips of my ears.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFcpzYI3fS6
I felt like lightning had struck me.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqCh9b93MAu
I couldn’t move an inch.
“My lady, are you alright?”
His voice was so gentle—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPykprhoSAH
it felt like it could shatter every piece of armor I wore.
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I quickly turned my face to the window,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbVptz9fJ7m
trying to hide the heat in my cheeks and the chaos in my chest.
“I-I’m fine…”18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJYB57MmTuX
The words came out in broken fragments,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUt8bABzax3
caught in my throat.
I tried to sound calm,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBVJDVJJiDs
but I couldn’t ignore that hand—
The hand that had nearly touched me,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡufG80ci7FU
and somehow felt even more overwhelming than if it had.
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My heart was in a mess,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEvnqi054D1
but deep down, in some tiny corner of me, I couldn’t help wondering:
How long has it been since he last touched me?
The last time we held hands was when I was twelve.
He was ten.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡup7BprjFAc
We were playing hide and seek in the garden.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUQ0JJitARF
He grabbed my hand, sweaty and small, and said:18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8KNw7J3CuX
“Don’t worry. I’ll pull you along.”
His hand back then was soft and a little damp, still a child’s.
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But now…
I snuck a glance at him.
That hand had long since grown—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqL3YdyZJwI
broad and steady, joints defined,18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMlzPNstzzq
carrying the quiet strength of a man.
If I were touched by these hands now…18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNIWLOdjxZL
Would they still make me feel safe?
Or had they changed—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiuA6K44JQ
become something irresistible?
Would his touch still comfort me… 18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡifAvfQfeWI
or stir up something I’m not ready for?
I couldn’t say it aloud.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPXDfaGHnK4
I didn’t dare look at him again.
I just let those chaotic, greedy, and shamefully yearning thoughts18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2HPkwSttq
rise like waves in my heart—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOxbYWvVz5w
rippling out in silence.
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It was a touch that never crossed the line—18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡguU2pDA0xr
but deep down, I quietly longed for it to.18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLmTCuWa188
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWoGo68wDPA
18Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZtkmkvp3jW
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