Eventually, everyone left me alone with Ted. Someone, I didn’t know who, had brought me a chair that I absentmindedly sat down on, still clutching Ted’s hand like it was my lifeline.
After what seemed like ages, my mother sat down across from me.
“It’s okay to cry, you know. He was your best friend.”
I abruptly stood up, letting go of Ted’s hand. “I’m not crying. Stop talking about him like he’s dead, he’ll fight through this. He’ll be okay.” I insisted.
Her eyes were sympathetic. I wanted her to be happy, sad, angry… anything but sympathetic. But she just gave me that look as she said, “Oh honey… the doctors are saying there’s nothing they can do. For now, it’s up to him and I’m not even sure if that’ll be enough.”
I was breathing heavily, glaring at my mom. “He’ll be okay.” I repeated firmly. “I’m gonna go get some rest. I’ll be back in the morning.”
I’m not sure what drove me to leave. Perhaps I couldn’t bear to be in the presence of all those who thought he would die; or maybe I just had to get away from the ragged breaths of the one person who knew everything about me.
It was when I reached the automatic doors of the hospital exit that I realized I didn’t have my car. Sighing, I took out my phone and dialed Lily’s number. It rang four times before she picked up.
Or rather, Alex picked up. “Hello?” he said softly.
“Alex? Could I talk to Lily, please?”
“Ah… I told her to get some rest. She’s sleeping right now. How’s Ted doing?”
I inhaled and exhaled slowly. “He’ll be okay.” I said, voice shaky.
“… Okay.” He answered, hesitantly. “Do you know if he’ll need a surgery, or anything? How good are his chances? Do you know if we’ll be able to visit—“
“Can you come pick me up from the hospital? I’m gonna come home and get some rest before going back in the morning, but I don’t have a ride.” I cut him off.
“Er… Well, I don’t really want to leave Lily like this, I’m not sure when she’ll wake up and I want to be there for her when she—“
“Fine, fine, whatever. I’ll call someone else.”
“Hey, I’m pretty sure Li—“
I hung up before he could finish. I didn’t think I could handle anymore of him today.
So, instead, I sat on the bench outside the hospital for the next hour, debating whether I should tear my parents away from their adopted son or swallow my pride and call Liam.
“Hey.” Said a voice. I knew that voice. I despised that voice.
I looked up. “What are you doing here?” I asked, forcefully.
He cocked his head. “Alex called. Said you might need a ride. You okay?”
I bit my tongue, then swallowed. “Yeah.” I answered hoarsely.
He sat down next to me with a sigh. “You don’t sound, or look alright.” He said, turning his head to look at me. I stared into his blue-grey eyes.
“Are you saying I look like shit?”
“Yes, I’m saying you look like shit, and you certainly have a right to. It’s not every day someone’s ex-boyfriend turned best friend gets into a life threatening accident.”
I leaned forward and sighed, not in the mood to have an argument about my current state. “Actually, it’s best friend turned boyfriend turned ex-boyfriend turned best friend. No, scratch that, it was always best friend.” I muttered. I brought my hands to my face and rubbed my eyes tiredly.
Liam didn’t respond, opting instead to pull me into a side hug. On any other occasion, I would’ve punched him and walked away, but this time I didn’t. Instead, I leaned into him and took a few shaky breaths, before wrapping my arms around his neck and burying my face into his shoulder. We sat there for a long while, until Liam broke the silence.
“Would this be a bad time to tell you that I was the one who taped posters of One Direction all over your room?”
I rolled my eyes and punched his other shoulder.
“Ow. Yes, it was a bad time. Damnit, I need to get better with the whole reading people thing.”
I couldn’t help but laugh. And laughing was nice. Even laughing with the most annoying guy on Earth.
After a few moments, Liam spoke again. “Hot pot.” He said. I pulled away, confused.
“Excuse me?”
“Hot pot! We’re gonna go eat hot pot. It makes everyone feel better. It’s scientifically proven.”
I raised a brow. “Really.”
“Yes. Really. Now let’s go.”
He stood up and turned to me expectantly. I crossed my arms. “Shouldn’t you be like, driving me home and making sure I get rest?”
“Can you honestly tell me you’ll be able to sleep?”
I pursed my lips.
“Besides, eating hot pot is a very soothing experience. Haven’t you ever tried it?”
“No.”
“Well it’s great. So you’re gonna go try it now.”
I sighed. “Alright then. I could use something to take my mind off… things.”
He smiled. But it wasn’t a cheeky smile, or a sympathetic smile, it was just… a friendly smile. Like nothing was wrong and all he wanted was to have a good time.
We got in the car and as we pulled out of the hospital parking lot, he said, “How is it that you’ve never had hot pot before? It’s like, the most amazing thing ever.”
I shrugged. “I dunno. I just never got the chance, I guess. I’m not even quite clear on what it is.”
“Oh dear God.” He muttered, leaning his head onto the headrest.
“What?” I exclaimed. “I bet at least half of the world’s population doesn’t know what hot pot is.”
He rolled his eyes. “Okay. So basically, there’s a pot of soup over a stove and you get to take raw food and cook it in the soup. It’s great.”
I looked at him dubiously. “What’s so special about that?”
He glanced at me a few times in disbelief. “I think my head might explode if you keep talking about hot pot like it’s a normal dinner. You’ll see when we get there.”
“Alright then.” I said, then leaned back into the seat and looked out the window. It was a clear night; I could see hundreds of stars lighting up the night sky and it reminded me of the sleepless nights I’d spend with Ted, laying down on our patio just talking and watching the stars pass us by. When my first boyfriend broke up with me, he stayed up all night with me, half asleep, while I cried and talked and cried some more. And the day we decided to go our separate ways for university, we cried together. The night sky was our one other companion as we talked through tough times and heartbreak or just to celebrate a milestone. And to think, I was going to eat hot pot with a guy I hated while my best friend and first love was lying in a hospital bed, fighting for his life.
I didn’t even notice that Liam had stopped the car until I felt his hand on my leg, shaking me out of my trance. “Hey, you okay?” He asked, concerned. “Stay with me, Sammy. No tears tonight.”
I sniffed. “Why does everyone keep thinking I’m about to cry?” I exclaimed, almost childishly.
He raised a brow and gave a half-smile. “To be honest, you look like you’re about to cry. Not that I’d blame you, anyhow.”
I rubbed my nose and looked down. “You know what, I think I just want to go back to the apartment and get some rest. Rain check on the hot pot?”
Liam squeezed my knee. “You sure? Do you wanna just hang out somewhere and talk, or something?”
I shook my head. “Yeah, no thanks. I really appreciate you trying to make me feel better but I’m getting pretty tired and I’m probably gonna go back to the hospital early tomorrow morning.”
He still looked concerned. “Alright, then.” He pulled back onto the main road and started driving to the apartment. We didn’t speak for the rest of the ride.
When we arrived, he got out of the car with me. “I’ll walk you up.”
“Okay.” I responded. He opened the lobby door and we entered the stairwell. “Why are you being so nice to me?” I asked.
He glanced at me. “Am I usually mean to you?”
I thought for a moment. “I guess that wasn’t the best choice of wording. Why are you being so… not annoying?”
He grinned. “For an English major, your choice in vocabulary is astonishingly basic. ‘Not annoying’?”
I rolled my eyes. “There he is. Insufferable, arrogant old Liam. Nice to know my family tragedy hasn’t turned you into a sensitive, well-mannered young man.”
“Hey, I’m walking you up to your apartment, aren’t I? Besides, if I was always a sensitive, well-mannered young man, you’d get bored and you might actually like me.” He said, with a mild air of distaste.
I snorted. “I could do so much better than you, even if you weren’t totally intolerable.”
“As if. I’m the best breed of man there is. Smart, handsome, charming, and funny. What else could you ask for?”
“You might want to reconsider the whole ‘smart’ thing. I can’t remember ever having an intelligent conversation with you.”
“I’m getting a huge sense of déjà vu right now. Maybe because we’ve had a variation of this conversation so many times. You should really find another way to call me stupid, Sammy.”
“Don’t call me that.”
“But Sammy’s way cuter than Sam. Or Samantha, for that matter.”
“Ugh.” I groaned, pushing my apartment door open. “I’ll see you next time you decide you want to bother me.”
“I know you’ll be looking forward to it.” He winked.
I rolled my eyes and slammed the door.
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