A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 928Please respect copyright.PENANA7F8zSGIal7
-:-928Please respect copyright.PENANA1Nrt1ScA6L
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE928Please respect copyright.PENANABDoqP4svvy
CHARACTERS928Please respect copyright.PENANAOa7IwuPlIC
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed928Please respect copyright.PENANA5V8R6ylKzr
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette928Please respect copyright.PENANAb2ycrbIgsp
--928Please respect copyright.PENANAHmOiej01A8
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT928Please respect copyright.PENANA6giT3hKr5Y
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.928Please respect copyright.PENANADXnycJI4NG
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANATkLiJbd93k
We don’t have much time.928Please respect copyright.PENANA6PACohpJCx
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?928Please respect copyright.PENANAFbGS07g6m4
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAX6sbrwSYDr
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 928Please respect copyright.PENANAcNjHdR5Z1M
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAUkpZJhQRPa
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!928Please respect copyright.PENANAyagoSgWDM8
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAuj2JTPmb44
I understand you’re upset - 928Please respect copyright.PENANAWOs1NUZkl4
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAgr2inYKxqZ
I damn well am! 928Please respect copyright.PENANAESPosBohN0
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAWuwjmv76C0
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.928Please respect copyright.PENANAYjMOT8EB8x
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 928Please respect copyright.PENANAzvqsP6J0Ny
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAmKtXT6EuBl
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 928Please respect copyright.PENANAYqhL7SuUie
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANALICdAI5H4D
(slowly)928Please respect copyright.PENANAoWCHgGuDvC
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.928Please respect copyright.PENANATbs86UsaAK
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 928Please respect copyright.PENANACKkuXYx3Rk
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANALg1uGgowjH
What?928Please respect copyright.PENANAci44GzBwv4
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAbwpMCXhuRW
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.928Please respect copyright.PENANAFKSr7fZ17z
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAHjqeOn7f89
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!928Please respect copyright.PENANAXQRFP38R5m
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAYNdj2O7IoX
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.928Please respect copyright.PENANAlF8MvJexug
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANALsfEPz4TWH
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.928Please respect copyright.PENANAEDb6GzvdCF
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANADZHZJXU8Ga
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.928Please respect copyright.PENANAMlzAWYpPm7
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAgMcqo6gXki
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 928Please respect copyright.PENANAfdqhNJHtU8
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANACkAh0Qn2qw
That may be the case, but look at this.928Please respect copyright.PENANAlw8su2TxvF
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 928Please respect copyright.PENANAFo3orDkTd1
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAk1FvS7gESq
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.928Please respect copyright.PENANAfaYKjToaer
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAQWjFveiRFe
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.928Please respect copyright.PENANAXw6AHiMZoZ
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANAPsoUClT6Dq
(grimly)928Please respect copyright.PENANAgngovEQVVr
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 928Please respect copyright.PENANA1zsjZqReZQ
CECIL928Please respect copyright.PENANAOXFMZZRyie
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.928Please respect copyright.PENANAbXYHqqcw4B
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 928Please respect copyright.PENANA7p5sC9CsTT
XIUYING928Please respect copyright.PENANArrRaBW3zYd
Who said anything about paying them off?928Please respect copyright.PENANARuVfzAB5tM
--928Please respect copyright.PENANAkewXXwW3sV