A/N: A somewhat tongue-in-cheek skit as you can probably tell from the title, but this was plenty of fun to write. Maybe I'll return to properly finish it one day. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKMQkF1ITHE
-:-659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxrcULuHfA
THE TYPICAL GOTHIC VICTORIAN MELODRAMA, ONLY GAYER AND LESS WHITE659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvve71zqJPB
CHARACTERS659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ71Ri17hGmR
CECIL - male, twenties, biracial, well-dressed659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8PKTc33fP
XIUYING - female, twenties, Chinese, no-nonsense; a suffragette659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyf7Z7s8QjG
--659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJu235JBDJ
EXT. GARDEN BENCH, NIGHT659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0c9Mj7xbU6
Early twentieth century. CECIL sits, head in his hands, as XIUYING studies a handwritten letter with furrowed brows. She carefully folds it back up and turns to CECIL.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNnxbF4ERS3
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2it6GpeqEy
We don’t have much time.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfFXLvsbEmO
CECIL
I’m surprised we have any time left at all! It only came in the post this morning. What the hell am I going to do?659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUhZYlmFCa
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4ZQ2JT8b8
First, you need to calm down so we can consider the situation. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCin0Cum6Di
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpJ8hbc6Lii
Calm? Calm? How can you expect me to stay calm after that? My lover is blackmailing me over poetry - explicit poetry that I sent him! He expects a thousand pounds by tonight, or else I’m in for ruin and two years hard labour!659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkVX0gJlmAp
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzVjZugVuQ
I understand you’re upset - 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsmxUGb7CIV
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYrcjSsRS4x
I damn well am! 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEQS0xzisaJ
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm1Qx1bJhHb
- but panicking will get nothing done. I am so sorry this happened, Cecil, and… I’m so sorry about Laurence.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE4PFk83ygD
CECIL, stricken anew, breaks down. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡetjNQPaeCT
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVK2WNY440A
Dear God, I trusted him. The first person I ever trusted with my love, and he betrayed me. I didn’t know he had it in him. We were all so careful. There was no possible chance of discovery. The three of us were the only ones who knew. I don’t understand why he could do this. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlk7zBQyJht
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKojX1VcGST
(slowly)659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdzuPXlQL0R
As a matter of fact, I highly doubt it was him at all.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcmOgpeM2w2
CECIL freezes and looks up at her. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdGr1WHQAIY
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf0awdW1hJM
What?659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT3vgEYbryM
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbrbe5S5DZZ
I cannot in good conscience believe that Laurence is behind this.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgScnnz5vdD
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡycr4c3ftGK
Xiuying, what on earth are you talking about? This is Laurence’s handwriting. This is the very ink and paper he uses to write his plays! (He gets angry.) Do you think I haven’t considered the possibility that the love of my life couldn’t be blackmailing me like this? This is undeniably him!659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZSbXQC7qI
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyV5S4Db4tq
Yes, but if you had taken the time to read over this thoroughly, you would notice that his handwriting is wobbly.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8BogZjuoLr
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ2o5jZg84R
It’s always wobbly. Messy handwriting is the staple of any artist.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ979UGy7awe
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKegmCyBaHP
Messier than usual, I mean. You two may be lovers, but I’m the one who’s known him since grammar school. He only ever writes like this when he’s upset or under exceptional stress.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhBeVThSyS
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gDaQvhvVc
Well, maybe he was nervous, pulling the rug out from under someone who trusted him. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoXQBhwo9Wb
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqOvi5YEhNY
That may be the case, but look at this.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOtoan0xXmt
She points at several dark brown and rust-coloured stains at the edges of the paper. There are ink blotches everywhere, but these particular spots, upon close inspection, are distinctive. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb5zq3jTnBn
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTI3vjE5SO8
If I’m not mistaken, that is blood.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMAAFpKDlLT
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡolThuTai6C
Blood? (A pause as horrified realization creeps in.) Oh, dear God. Laurence.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ51EDN1Vznb
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡes7TpMHW6H
(grimly)659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3amA9X3Rl7
Exactly. There’s something deeper here, far worse than what’s on the surface. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxYnXNHpNl4
CECIL659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2aQv43a3nm
But - but if someone is forcing Laurence to write this, then how - how can we get him back? I don’t own a thousand pounds. I couldn’t possibly pay this person off.659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPaE9PS9ius
CECIL is shocked to turn and see XIUYING smiling faintly. 659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQjnhZJ2h8
XIUYING659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8nycYIHGk0
Who said anything about paying them off?659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFjQyIuW6O7
--659Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxafnF56oMu
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