第二章 —— 粉碎心靈而行
EP 1
知性逆襲
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是否忘記了初衷549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2RkHZpBeVk
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有一件事，她從來不理解，照其個性，那怕重來也不明白，為什麼、如何、怎樣地，質疑事實，儘管已經繞之而轉一輩子了，每一角落、真相的碎片亦熟知549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Moi9H4hrs
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還沒有學會「接受」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaASpOBgsk2
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接受現實549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3T3frxDwwi
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因為認為是屈服549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7qHmSgC9YD
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感覺好像自己在投降549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc0Yoa40YBl
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放棄一切549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFBf3KKPEgz
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追求完美至上，而不允許錯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxpsZ94a0yD
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如其之出生，尤像生活，所聽、知，授教的549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7eL6v27uUu
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認為是這樣子的狂妄549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkhhewDwZTy
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無他549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvF2OjY7yh7
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說是愚痴也不過份549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh3ICiK8YUT
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只是她不相信549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRDJ2TFoBPB
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懷疑549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡP054tWgm9A
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她⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsZuGGvTTZs
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「⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHVLKmd2Pke
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由一開始，女孩的這種個性就已經總結了此下場，這並不為因果關係，純粹因這個下場的發生堪於必然，而是狀況的現象化，星星的模樣，是因為太遙遠才是唯美而存，近看，以生命來燃燒的想法，無比嚇人549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrdHK9NLvg9
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單單是想像也有夠不安549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFtFlfuqB7I
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儘管此刻的自己也如看鏡面一樣，對此狀況不只是目擊證人，近是案內者，經歷者549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdQresXdnhl
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但若論為什麼會對其驚訝549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLX5sgkVR8y
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唯一句549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBEzFJYgc8
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當局者迷，旁觀者清549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpsuAAM1YxV
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當初，我也不曾察覺其他的事情，只為信仰而活的自己，追求理想的結局，拋棄所有的我549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2ynQ54fKk8
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根本不在意自己的身體點燃上星似熊烈549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSTFVhnOHt0
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想法，是會傳染、變異、影響、控制549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKtUIbe0Wym
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且不死，無法殺死549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzfJZwOBgl1
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——————549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIiYzVCD2Pf
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人家已經很盡力了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOu2ZjfEXqc
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我一直嘗試在抵抗這份感情549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjctj2UQAy1
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憤怒549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN8EFVIDbnc
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一直以來無論多麼努力亦不能有什麼結果549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkXwVKKcoFM
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因為我沒有用549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhzCNONEwGG
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因為我的能力不足
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—— 咯 ——
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輕輕地扭開門把，金屬的把條縮回門鎖之中，角度的漸大，門的打開，男人就在該處站著549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx8dfv2NV8
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「是的，陳熒羽⋯對嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ8nFQxKfMz
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「嗯⋯嗯⋯⋯打擾了」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6N1JylQbsL
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進入到久違的房間，和記憶同模印的擺設佈局，主色調為米色，副色白549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPgDCJV7aNM
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—— 咔 ——
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關上門，房間消音的性質方真正開始，完全隔絕外在，此處的所有聲音仍會遭吞蝕，留在這裏，只有這裏，才將自己從這個世界中抽離549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPIDMgTdjhX
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沒有吵鬧聲
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餘下的，是自己腦內的聲音549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkUFUrm9CYh
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與其說是喜歡，說是比較、偏好才對，始終腦內的聲音，一直停不下來549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxd8rLfAFkr
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討厭
討厭
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「唔⋯⋯對不起⋯上次臨急改期⋯」
「不，沒關係」
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男人走向沙發，攤開掌心，以手勢示意
「來，請坐」
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對他點頭道謝後，我往位置坐下來
「那麼⋯最近睡得還可以嗎？」
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「唔⋯嗯⋯還可以⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡelBfpo9Nic
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深呼吸，讓血管稍微收壓、放鬆，使心跳稍為緩下549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfkcRUaoYN
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舔了舔下唇，我才繼續
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「⋯最近⋯夜驚的情況⋯有改善到」
「但還是有嗎？」
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「嗯⋯」
胸口的壓力感在說完話後消退，弄得自己好像成就了什麼大事般
「⋯這樣喔⋯沒關係，不用勉強，放鬆就可以了」
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「嗯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Rg7FbRzNh
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⋯⋯
那對眼睛
⋯
不要一直看過來⋯⋯
不要⋯不要——
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已經無法呼吸了多久？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6FUOqjGHzF
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太久了，不過至從學懂存在，便已經失去了呼吸的權利，「自由」一字的概念遙遠得不但不能觸及，甚至連想像的機會也沒有，提心吊膽地呼吸，屏住心跳，一輩子活在的地方 —— 恐懼而不和平的暗影之中549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmYheRknHyb
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已經失眠了多久？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnBO6tILrTJ
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失眠不是問題，而是衍生出來的結果，閉上眼睛仍然無法逃離，知道張開眼睛所面對的未來，毫不期待，害怕未來，受到過去而滿身傷痕，無論如何也得不到明天，好想好想那裏也不去，不前進不回去，待在原處，寧願原地踏步，寧願當個別人口中的笨蛋，討厭改變，卻549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrILRjoeLBP
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卻⋯卻⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCnrfQ5EWQ
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一點不想繼續這樣承受下去，而終究還是困在如此循環中，沒有所謂「時間」的存在，昨天即是今天，明天也去不了那去，等候自己的未來，只是幻覺549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmhMk3JRMrY
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還是說，世事可以和大家口中一樣嗎？
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由開始，已經不像任何人的前提，是可以怎叫自己活得正常，我不能、不會、不懂，現在不會，將來也是，儘管我是對這強烈不滿549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbom6bcEfJP
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但我有選擇嗎？面對種種，難道有其他方法嗎？
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每天晚上也這樣想著，徹夜未眠，哭過無數次，甚至麻木，到淚水不自覺流在臉上，同樣的床，同樣的夜空，左右被冷意包圍，呆呆無意墮入腦內549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9S0NnXxATD
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好想，一覺不醒
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即使每一次的夢也不完美，我知道自己的夢有多麼壓迫，難受苦人又使人瘋狂，但好歹是夢，醒來之後便能脫離，不似得這個現實，所在所有的破生活，根本忘不了，尤其這份痛苦，以夜以日頻頻萌生新的根，扎在過迫的心靈中549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGgpVsb2ayC
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恨不得粉碎了之，那怕會死
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死一死也蠻好嘛
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結束就好了
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—— 別開玩笑了
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人家也希望能夠快樂549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRJxSwdD32A
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可是從來沒有，是完全沒有一個這樣的機會549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2EV0b3H4g
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也希望被愛
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也希望被認同
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⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKsdcKK46HB
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我不知足？
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⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxPJzMZI0ST
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這世界一開始也沒有給到我們些什麼，「足夠」也是自己所定義的不是嗎？沒錯吧？！549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNfbSgnXmTq
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——呀？
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嗯？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtEn8XLkwSb
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又是這樣
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難得我想表達自己，鼓起勇氣，想成為別人所希望的模樣，總是在自己嘗試前攔下自己，阻擋自己到前方去，但明明是同一班人叫人家去相信，要怎樣怎樣努力，結果又只是說說而已549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgiQC4K9UUO
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrC1THcUs1Q
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV7C0nzyMxw
我是笨了一點，呆了一點，像個白痴，直接當成傻仔也不過份，然而⋯⋯然而⋯我⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Eqg7YTnGF
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQOYMBX0lVm
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSHsu5vQ10z
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrbp3s8H9NK
我也想活下去
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NlmYXuHxB
但一而再，再而三，真正阻止我從現況中掙扎出來的，是同一人，給予假希望，當自己不足為提，尤如走狗又好，簡直為玩具，喜歡便拿來玩，不喜歡便拿出來踐踏好一番，然後沒了興趣時，就隨手一丟，棄之不理
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRMQcN3L06
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFJqseEj7X
莫名其妙，但真的好痛，我嘗試將心比己，下場居然是遭隨意玩弄然後棄之，我躲起來哭時又在安慰我，這是什麼？
這是什麼？
我寧願自己一人好了
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjluOXnaGsB
一直以來，我的人生，完全是自力更生，因為沒有那個誰，能真正幫助到我549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNtRHvfwjGh
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUoCfOSDJHZ
或是說，我不希望⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkAKYFxq1X
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2dJYGua8zC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡStQDOSFd3E
⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3nkTO4Qk0F
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRMFN2S820N
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡryD6p0DDpj
對不起549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEmAoXmqCYM
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQVySqfq8X
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡztGa3vanvy
我也希望自己⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjqW6NdR2ZT
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGS4uRofCGU
不過⋯⋯
「⋯那麼好了⋯今天就先這樣吧」
「剛剛斷藥一星期，狀況已經是有很大改善了」
「所以你真的不用那麼勉強自己」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRgt5sP2ERd
「唔⋯⋯」
「既然完成了⋯那麼⋯」
男人深呼氣，站起，走近自己
「我們還有些時間」
「嗯⋯」
緊張，我吞口水下騷燥的喉嚨
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ9Qh79xeVv
男人他站在自己後面，就在沙發椅子後面，伸手按下椅旁的按鈕，讓椅背調低，另一手則是在輕輕地撥弄自己的額髮，角度之下，我能直視之俯視的顏容549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6Hvd201lKu
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF2iNVkRkn2
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwMTDfDoDx9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfdJ59Ap9MH
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY4ey99lVmh
角度最大，椅背的最低，躺在沙發上的自己在剛才過度集中精神，現時便持續精神疲勞狀態，稍有腦昏，意識模糊，但仍然，我知道接下來的發展
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdqmo7jbid
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ91277N9cel
對此，心跳開始不受控制，我的呼氣聲明顯大了
「剛剛在外面的是？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJ1QndUtxYw
「⋯哥哥」
「不再是家人以外的嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp7R173kjGy
「⋯⋯嗯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzCNsgfzLwj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOeTSoTZM8e
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXEzHQVm7Hr
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtPMJbI8Ros
男人緩緩地往自己校服裙領，衣領，膀子那邊伸手，溫柔，但快速地解開鈕扣，使頸前空間寛鬆些許
「哥哥⋯⋯會討厭哥哥嗎？平常」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIttGpHB6e9
「很少⋯」
「真的？要説真話喔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR00CCR0HPP
「⋯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTKyJjfvDPO
「真的」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg2pYHqju5V
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDSUJUBACJl
反手，迅速地拉下了背後的拉鍊
「這樣嗎？」
—— 『反正會變成怎樣，我也不在意了』 ——
托著肩，使自己稍為露出背給對方看
「⋯哎⋯不行喔⋯沒穿嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBA4ZENM160
「今天趕著出門口便⋯」
「不行呢⋯你可要注意一下自己的身份喔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHBkSs1xHRu
「對不起——呀⋯」
「是我的手冷嗎？」
「還可以嘛？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWJIEsDVsEq
「沒事⋯只是有點緊張⋯⋯」
「也不是第一次了呢，放鬆吧」
「我會盡快的」
除下上面的部份，完全露出後背來
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGnmFg3G3sG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡH4jsO0eQ2M
沒有直接看，觸感因而格外特出
「不看過來嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrSI4YeJSUP
「⋯⋯不用了⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Y0jEts8kx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPRZaWt9xNN
世界內完全隔絕其中的空間，我的呼吸才叫無比格外突出的存在
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmI591bvDwj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UYpMILzNV
冰冷的手撫在這副體溫比常人高個1-2攝氏(C)度，對比之下任何東西才更為清晰，尤其一對一之下，我方才明白自己的真正
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi8JxnI3nU3
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3eou2V7hZ
從背縫伸入裙中，撫著背脊，繼續下去
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN1d2tjygu
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKoFOwkXojC
往那兒去
「啊，醫生⋯那、那個⋯」
突然地動了動，使男人的動作暫停了半頓549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡglwY5K3QpJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡinps1gi2uz
「可以⋯不要嗎？」
「不行」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk2GWF3V5Sq
「⋯我怕痛⋯」
「⋯⋯要先從前面來嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW0A7A07m7a
「⋯⋯嗯，拜託⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBGtOZdsOCU
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPsfgaptfM4
抽手，繞過身，徬如要抱住自己
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO74RIxcKPc
見他的手遲遲不動，意識到什麼的自己方才示意
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzq1fBhR7ZB
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkzNU2CTgaK
拉起裙子，他的手伸至自己下腹
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3fNwWb0PG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKlmweBerSp
如記憶一樣強烈的感覺，身體因那股不只為痛楚之上的刺激稍為扭計抽搐，更可能因感覺過為久違而特別地格外，淚水溢出，我知道不可以動，但下盤，比較近的那處，完全就不聽命
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5d38FCWMtK
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxDsBuQx0ZA
「哈⋯醫生⋯呀⋯手⋯手⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB3sPbuEaL7
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ31iv7FluTP
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnjB91Mjqjp
伸過來另一手，習慣性地抱住在臉前，口前，咬住549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2i0CubpXE
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhs7s82hnlp
「唔⋯唔⋯咿！」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdnEhrqGmNJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdhPFHWouVm
最後一記，最強烈
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnPwpqXlYGn
「⋯哈啊⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzU3XEG5OlZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt63EeUomzN
鬆口，直至其手到胸口549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGNBQPDbUyy
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qj72wcEN0
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVPWTaEU3tr
儘管此處沒有下面的刺激，但仍然⋯痛楚必居多，畢竟是心臓
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0OlBqCFlSb
放在前方，我閉上眼睛，任由感覺告訴自己而不想目睹
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKPzIS9bgEf
卻似乎⋯在自己預備好之前已經結束
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡie8OG4OIXs
「⋯啊？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoCxsHvIpQp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUe6DN87Vi
連咬也不用，只有半秒的電流感
「前面完成了」
男人如此說道549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKbMb2CV65g
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzGrE2ETOjl
那麼接下來⋯
「那麼⋯」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbXN4GsjGZ
「⋯⋯來吧⋯快點完事吧」
「好的——」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy8C1QZ600L
「等、等等」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡktdfIXVCT9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIaPSLtrTXI
在他的手移至自己背時，我叫止
「⋯⋯」
「怎麼了？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRlFEGX2auQ
「我調轉身體，趴著，您從後面來⋯⋯比較容易對吧？」
「你喜歡吧」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmPAH8b3W0y
「⋯⋯嗯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsDerJdB712
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡj00xfDS8Sc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgeQqljA65j
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzz3zdaV3E
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡE6BiLYhydp
完全將裙子脫下，連最後一塊布料也脫下，掛在一旁，接著倒轉，趴在沙發上549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZ1etlQ8H7
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRHbtqtFsuB
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvygOpPGJLM
沒有什麼停頓的時間，在感覺到之際，我閉上眼睛
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAzGTfBaqOr
好痛
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ41WIjmSGPy
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7JXwThBDIR
但會有人在意嗎？
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMWlIzpGUli
他會、她會，但我不想使任何人擔心
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK92cggry7H
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡob5KEbc9jh
始終倒頭來，人家我根本不會怎樣和人相處，完全不出奇，毫無意外，畢竟沒有人教導過我，也沒有這個機會，本來與人相處，我也沒有那個需要，但另一個需求，更不想去實踐
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡem8FbGrKA9
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqsfMzOwkBO
無數次因能力不足的錯敗，完全是拖延別人進度的我在之前找不到自己的位置，現在也不能，即使以自己的能力而言，是會完全勝任
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGrWAzB59Z8
單單經驗，和他一起高居其上，但致命的是臨場發揮，我不能549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpgxwsgO62G
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0lsBPIcDS8
長期的壓力與否認積累下來，成為了自己那無形的牆，困住自己，我⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSACQ3F2Jws
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa2KInlxFxg
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxzb7T3sd42
永生而來也是所謂「理性」的囚奴
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4CtsOnVSC8
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIRm0J5GQo8
名為「理性」的魔物是我腦內的聲音，也是各種困難的化身，我無從逃離，因為它無處不在549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0MWS7i1azc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡILhDhDerrX
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBhD9hpQTVq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBFDKRe14lV
每日侵喰自己的精神，我口中的疲累，永遠會是先指精神疲累，做事，任何一件也是，它亦會阻止我，更不止一次而是無限多次
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb0in2PJkJm
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9GxDkWE1mx
控制我的動作，以自己的精神和動力為糧，在開始點絆倒自己，途中不斷勸退自己的努力，在受傷時再插自己一刀，在面對困難時成為負擔，以及那些不斷催促自己前進的壓力，成為自己真正到不了那去的最主要原因549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡInUNmu5ykr
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI98pNLaqXJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt2qsuZTUtZ
比較下，條件不由自己定
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9dBKr4JoJc
我沒有選擇權549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsBfrS2sC5p
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgFWNngl9X
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6oNdUST1Ct
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ymm0yo7Q9
就連思考時，亦會來作崇，煽動自己做出愚蠢之動，決定時一二不是，我失去了選擇，見步行步什麼的，對我而言只是屈服549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIQGwdbKC8W
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYPByZ3nuxt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1bpe25f03r
明白嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSG3qBN4ic
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1BaAMY9n0R
我不是不想努力，而是我所有事的起跑線都比別人遠、艱苦，無法正常地思考的痛苦，總是被他人卑視又白眼，我在努力，他們看到嗎？可以讓我努力嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3OFBmmBVkp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡk4FrocbLQl
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTEWumpvMTG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡflrAFwdG6W
若世界更溫柔的話——
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtZWGfzeGl
不可能549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBY9EyIiDrG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMgt02gLnbJ
故然，我的作用⋯也沒有所謂的意義549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2cEHm7OhqV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd06iB6OUXj
什麼也沒有549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO2ZGF6YBEx
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlSM4VtJ6RX
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0tatOcsFyG
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbBiQo6MGeD
在邊緣望向彼方，死亡那，我想過去嗎？549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡy4kHFsx1zw
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDttaGYaAQZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEqCAln0Vo8
當然549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVLy6xItjHQ
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絕對
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0suDpzRiZ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqNOFO6elJs
不想549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2BCcjZidfC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9Iv5zIJaeq
但始終，真的太辛苦了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡADz7VkrPzy
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ekpVBRN9i
⋯⋯549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHH0YoBcjFt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡz1mys5KiiJ
思考真的太辛苦了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡknoSuCReDs
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbSYwcGiKsH
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD63a9hLybn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL2m5Rz9OVW
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbqqFz63asY
「好了，怎樣了？痛嗎？」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgmZbCEXwoV
「呀⋯⋯還可以⋯啊⋯」
「嘛，好像新的藥劑太強了」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxRsEPxenG3
「不⋯不這樣⋯我真的會休克⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡT30E6cVio3
「給人家條毛巾可以嗎？」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvlmenee78R
「⋯⋯還有⋯抱歉⋯⋯」
「沒關係，我待會清潔」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcJkws7oOCT
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlAzIYOvQb7
「⋯⋯對不起」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4OEKd2XX6N
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGr5YmV7jt8
「那麼⋯先來聽一下結果吧」
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXFGtnvAj19
「嗯⋯」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7iFQObuLMB
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg12bN0IRBN
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZZKHvhoxMp
「你已經有四成崎品變異融合了」
「骨髓、荷爾蒙、肌肉組織也完全適應了」
「看來，你的身體已經預備好了」
「嗯」
「在不久的將來」
「為新人類的未來祈福，紅雲感激你的犧牲」
曾經，我也有夢想
我希望使他人微笑、快樂
幸福
儘管我不曾能理解
但現實拒絕了我
正在自己徘徊崩潰之際，他們找到了我
說服我成為他們的工具
「忠誠致赤雨之日」
既然已是理性的囚犯，那麼就不自由下去吧，粉碎心靈也好
反正⋯⋯
人家我早已不在意
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最強大的力量，為信念
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549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi4YtnsFwHj
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkBxPAy4ebR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvivBNELg60
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXdGYYAsw5J
「忠誠致赤雨之日」549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjlthPOdrJn
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrh8PC8FD7s
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ567n5wFPGY
女孩說道
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoVH7y1GLDR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoFNRQp4DLf
旁周的範圍漸漸陰暗，連光源 —— 燈管，周圍也暗淡
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnb7BaTghAV
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4J1rAjFrm
但不是燈光的點滅，反倒是影子的逆襲
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKRdjncwwMv
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1ARiupITH
是女孩的指示549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnMj4X4PsWW
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZy2vK4jvR
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡghiIta8qPc
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDYsW9MsQxJ
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdsxewsH7uq
從其身體散出，影子隨之散至每一個角落，讓漆黑侵佔光明
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMCxmHWfcGS
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1veSBF8lU
伸手不見五指，女孩逐漸消失在眼前
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW9LPl2j7dK
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO8xPxSrrJR
直至最後能看見的——549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbP47YfE8hu
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuh9oHQu9uq
也不存在
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOPuG2NDuxt
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfP9mplBOO
唯好像隱弱聽到了什麼549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAwLJFtJQVD
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ734SiO29Oi
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡq5YNqcjsxM
但無法辨認549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsTKUS1onJK
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIAG50sLLDG
或是記住至可以重組一個句子
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡymvr9Csvjp
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw6CRjTWeJS
黑暗將自己包圍549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3aMeETgbGY
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtlPhzit1EA
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrlHG1ktSzh
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡu2MxdCP7uI
不知多久了549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ283bUmVVBi
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4cacoUfbsn
在那時開始549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX0jcbdjQfk
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ93KKHdnXTX
那裏549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjGrm7RO1mw
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcurUE13s5y
但有些事情〇〇
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwTu5ZM0mvh
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfkbcjh3H2P
〇〇〇549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW2DiTLiVZB
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV83bOJJzQC
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡopCDTyotKO
〇〇〇〇〇〇549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbcNWx48uh8
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfjd1eB0QJq
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOvZA26ef1
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ55hMzGBOGb
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlorvKgap4h
現在不是你的回合549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZc77Q9xp2p
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡToxzWqY63d
549Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡARO357gKBN
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