No doubt about it; all hell was about to break loose. The roar of the rioting masses outside had reached fever pitch as stones began smashing through the cathedral’s stained glass. The General screamed at him for orders but he kept sipping his drink and admiring it.
‘But what if we did nothing?’ he offered. This hurt the General’s brain.
‘We can’t do nothing,’ the General argued. ‘They’re going to–’
‘We can do nothing.’
‘Right, I understand that. But-’
‘Right then.’
The General looked up to the lofty roofs and let out a pained sigh. ‘So what exactly are we doing standing here then?’
‘That is a good point,’ God King admitted. Another puff of smoke curled up and crushed under the candlelight. ‘Those doors sure won’t hold forever.’
‘Your last epic showdown didn’t exactly go according to plan,’ said the General as the entrance doors were violently slammed into again.
‘It did not,’ agreed God King.
‘If you could just this once–’
‘NO.’
‘Then you could literally make it go away.’
‘No damn it!’
‘And stop interrupting m-’
‘–it’s cheating. I said I wouldn’t, and I meant it.’
‘Well then for god’s sake can you let us know what you foresee happening here?!’
‘I’ll talk them down.’
‘They’re really angry,’ the General said peering out a window at the sea of torches. ‘That is a huge angry mob.’
‘How many do you fathom are out there?’
‘Already told you this, about a thousand of them.’
‘What if…’ he pondered, drifting off to another silent ponder.
‘Yes??’
‘Okay, I’ve got it.’
The cathedral doors smashed open and a swarm of shouting, pitchforks and swords charged on in. The elite soldiers braced themselves in their defensive positions as the rabble spilled forward with hot fury.
God King stood up in front of the advancing rioters. Without any warning he thrust his pelvis at them. The entire crowd was rendered naked. A tsunami of bare-naked men flooded in after the first wave, splashing against the walls and cathedral pillars in a large swell of confusion towards them.
‘I have not thought this through!’ exclaimed God King.
‘No you have bloody not!’ shouted the General who was immediately surrounded by angry embarrassed rioters. The attackers were somewhat subdued; this helped the elite guard who stabbed a few, some in the dick, and the crowd retreated slightly. The standoff was tense; a hundred piercing eyes stared at each other and a hundred hands gripped weapons and genitals ready to strike. Then a deep voice within the crowd roared.
‘Death to him! Death to all of them!’
Their rage instantly reignited and the mob lurched forward, swords raised and swinging down. God King then thrust again and a thick shockwave of dazzling silver energy punched through everyone, through the cathedral walls, smashing what was left of the stained glass windows, and knocking almost everyone off their feet.
There was silence. One protester gathered himself feeling drained, touching his face which felt heavy, his cheeks sagging. Something wet slipped off his head hitting his arm before dropping to the floor. He looked down and saw a bloody clump of hair and skin. Then he saw his arms and he let out a scream.
He was melting. They were all melting, right in front of each other, and every one of the rioters began screaming together as they all slowly but surely melted down to the stone floor. Every member of the elite guard began vomiting.
‘All’s well that ends well,’ said God King above the muffled moans and wails. Blood and soupy entrails oozed around their ankles.
‘This will take days to clean up,’ the General muttered.
‘Yes, it will,’ said God King. ‘But another decisive victory achieved.’ He gently levitated above the foul-smelling pool and began to hover towards what used to be the entrance.
‘Indeed,’ said the General, kicking a path in front of him to higher ground. Once he reached the pulpit stairs his head snapped back in God King’s direction. ‘Wait. Why couldn’t you just do this earlier?’
‘Because,’ God King called back. ‘I said so.’
And with that he disappeared outside.
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