By the time you are reading this either I would have moved on or both of us have moved on or you will never find and read it. Hopefully you do because this is important; Im writing this because i want to justify that what i felt was true and i would hate to see it disappear one day unnoticed. By the time you read this, these feelings won't be with me anymore and this is the only thing that's gonna be left of what i had to cherish the love i had between you and me. Please don't forget how much i loved you and all those feelings i had will stay in here. If i am given an opportunity to come back to you one day, you know i will.
Sayonara, my darling. I love you forever and always. Please dont forget even though i know one day i will. Remind me when that time comes, please.
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Once upon a time i believe it was around september 22nd when i caught your eye, we started talking go each other and we formed a chemistry or synergy that i never had woth anyone and it was the chemistry we both looked for in each other. You were merely a man i knew that i played a game with everyday; a game that we both played together. We talked about almost everything and we got along, we negotiated well. I remember dedicating a pretty romantic song to you and how you would smile hearing it everyday. Please don't stop singing it if you ever do. I dont care how bad your voice is.
One day i found out that you fell for me and you insisted we would be in a non committed relationship until you figured out your feelings. Eventually you did and you found real love; you found real love because of me. You used to only hookup with women and have a drink with them and nothing more; you didn't want to commit but then you changed. I loved that about you, i love how caring you are, passionate, loving, respectful, outgiing and always try to be at your best even if things don't go right for you. I loved how whenever we had our arguments you would always sit me down and we would immediately resolve it; i loved how we both talked about our future and the names of our children without you feeling awkward. I loved everything about you that it felt too good to be true.
Everthing was going so well until i made the stupid decision to hangout with my friends again and we drifted apart. I didn't know how to go on about with it because i was careless. I want to ask for forgiveness but i wont. I buried the purest form of love that can cleanse me and abandoned it. I cannot think of myself as any better of a person after this.
One night i had a talk with my old coworker aka friend on how i want to decide my future. Exciting adventure because it will be a total reboot of my life! As i thought about it for days, there was never a day that i didn't think of you; i thought... why don't i tell him and include him in it? Our meeting will just be delayed really bad but i am willing to wait and put myself to the test once more. I was ready for that... and i was ready to talk to you. But... the day i talked to you about what our potential future would be... you flat out told me no; and assumed its a future without you and that you have no intentions of carrying it down that road further. It stings so much but there was nothing i could do, so we both agreed and decided to part ways. My heart aches for the first time in years since i started to feel normal again, my heart aches because i felt like you can't wait for me even though i was willing to wait no matter how long it took. Witnhyour decision clear and no more intentions to continue our relationship, my heart shatters and i saw a part of myself die. A part of me died because i was hoping you will share the same future with me without any drawbacks on our relationship... i've never felt so wrong in my life and it's what i feared that would happen...
Despite all that, i wanted you to be happy just like how you do the same for me. If letting you go is the only way for me to genuinely show you that i love you, i will do so. Writing this long letter is a speech set in stone that I am letting you go and i love you for the very last time. Thank you for everything that you've done for me even though it was only for 5 months. It was as real as it got and i'm happy it happened. I convinced myself to not cry any tears because i feel like its just the right thing to do.
If we do meet again in the future and we are both single, rest assured i will come running back to you. I know deep down in my heart that i will remember your face and the sound of your voice even though i will eventually forget. The day we are together again, i want you to ask me to marry you and i'll 100% for a fact say yes. I wont make the same mistakes i did to you and be that person you fell for. I am praying you keep this in your thoughts.
I have nothing more to say, i think, i feel like i already said everything that i needed to tell you in this one whole letter. I wish you nothing but health, prosperity and happiness my love. You deserve nothing but that and you know damn well that i ain't backing out on anything. Until then, let's live the best of our lives and cherish every moment; because you never know when it will be your last.
Take care and goodbye for now.
Sincerely, your boo bear c:
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