The World I Am Swallowed By

There is nothing left. Nothing except ruins. But if you want to walk through them. Well, I'm not stopping you. You walk. To your left there is the crumbling walls of a ruined house. Not a house. A hut. But still. Once it stood. Once it stood and faced the weather, faced the world, and sheltered the children inside. What has become of those children now?

To your right there is the dust of an unpaved road stretching on and on into the hazy gray of the morning mist. It fills you with fear. You look up. And there is no sky only blood.

You look down. And there is no ground only bone. You look around. And there is no life only death. And there isn't even death. Just the endless grey of being held down and drank from.

You look at the trees lining the unpaved road you walk on. They are filled with the bodies of dark-eyed people. Hanging from their wrists. Obviously killed before they were strung up there. There is nothing. You are nothing. But you are not not nothing. You feel the gold of the threads that weave theough your lips. That weave through your heart. You feel the gold of the crown that sits in your hair.

Where do you think all this gold came from, Princess? From your own goddamn people. Feel the hatred that wells up inside. The suspicion. The apathy.

If only you could hate the right people. If only that wasn't so very hard. Fight for it. Right? Die for it. We all can die. Anyone can die. We all can live in the gray areas that are worse than death.

Is that really a step up? No. But we all must rise together or it is not liberation. Merely a reshuffling of the hierarchy. Dawn. Dawn is an emotion that feels like getting on an airplane. Like running away from home. Like finding the meaning of life. Like fighting tooth and nail for it.

I'm here to work not rest. I'm here to learn not play. I'm here for the war and I intend fully to die in it. I'm not you. I am not you. You don't know my life. You don't what I want or what I need or who I am or who I seek to be. You can't say you know what's good for me when you don't.

I'm here to die in a revolution and that's all I need to be. Let me die for this. Let me die for him.

I can't live in a world where he's not there. So please don't ask me to.

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