《狂亂文字》號四真永李 2022-04 - 四嚎．永憎你

「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡndMwHY0sEM
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcXBp62N1Se
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNZP8jNwRUt
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYcy826JGGY
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7zmmFjkFS1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWBvVgw8buG
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB7jOlrhCfB
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkuJnT9Mh0W
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGkUR1qvBQN

操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8qoKszIUEc
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHOCmOhnmRQ
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8lLGBl6dk6
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVP1bhvXPfe
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGV4CIrLfXN
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQM38bJdSGD
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIvTPb4saFr
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd761459lMf
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsfqUs3W7eZ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFOoSQlHYWg
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXyOFCZl8bX

狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Mq2Ka9Pn1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7Og3NiAnQe
咔——404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiCkoW04x1
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7BTiDwPKag
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ49QZkJWDo7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiWGJ8OX5VA
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA3Ho62HwZm
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp5WGEVmur4
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIZoh633D2L
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJtM6LZTaxv
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrc3EqxuCxW
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrrmht0JGJG
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuQ5y9P7ZPZ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNlkDUTUSu
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJaQu4lvafC
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuAv61Mm4v9
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDq1rv36S6y
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiLT75c9tXF
至少三十年。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6gJADazaq
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡV22PgzkuX0
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlbkV6Gaq2r
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjE2TfwfufY
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi56HJyxDvg
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubkddlwsks
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6kmb0H7G6Y
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNPoDj4H4WJ
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdJ0SDUZqzy
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡODIpTJMlKb
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeZXzM3mOJ4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM5wm441D70
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ52WOMrOnWe

七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsCWvukFzLr
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ424YcxncvG
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvtYoSs8sjP
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLpmYt2Dki9
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzZUid7Pus
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡstZlMu9SS3
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA0PX4AKGVo
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQwQcSEh3CA
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOBoGR3lqT
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡICXvm5vFow
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTqZ6RmFoD4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLwlCNMCPSL
感動退散，惡意再生。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0NlDNTYIxs
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoNY8qGoozz
缺失很多，要求更多。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9NxzL5Y8Fj
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv1Bj0Thsjf
缺失愛，索求愛。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5KdEMrutg7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwrK5gwoGmU
變本加厲。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVizqMMwFx2
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCInxJtF8Tk
理所當然。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ09J6P2KWm7
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8g0EEI2QZ9
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡY0W7OQwj7Y
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡif2xUCWrit
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQupgJZJTh
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLQUMcdtMCN
沒有永遠的愛。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPFUWFnBRye
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2nXELWTkNz
缺失愛，索求愛。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKSXJHwtPsj
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡueupW4io4n
鳳姐索價三百元。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgVrnjTvqJ4
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0ExmKruHJr
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSj7F7Z4XrJ
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRsxliGdcz7
完事。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnlI8kUh8Np
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRmSIR0AJyN
一切歸空。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGDugVarZUz
404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8rygBLbUTT
理所當然。404Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡioGyNXXFD3