《狂亂文字》號四真永李 2022-04 - 四嚎．永憎你

「我憎恨你！永遠憎恨你！」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsliQy4kjq8
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSE776qo1Tg
衣衫單薄的阿妹無視冷雨紛飛，跑出遮雨簷篷，衝過警方封鎖線，直撲上前搥打我胸膛，拳拳復拳拳，拳拳到肉，拳拳入心。我沒有還手——不打算反抗，而且雙手被手拷反扣在後——默默垂眼看著她雙手沾染我衫上血跡。這時何等奇妙的感覺：父母的血在我和她體內，亦在她手上、我衫上。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGpvrZ0kLsy
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZwgMoxkavT
附近幾位警員沒有立即阻止阿妹，待她發洩將近十秒、有記者正要舉機拍攝時才拉開她。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDH6sZvO5d9
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWhNRps8OGh
登上警車，我輕問身旁警員：「你們是故意的吧？」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡswZBIHhqFR
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡW1IJ0NmHnV
警員目不斜視，對著空氣道：「你殺死父母，是故意的吧？」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDkLPCeDtIU

操場上，烈日刺眼，人影紛亂，或逃跑或追趕。兩幫囚犯因私怨扭打起來，其餘局外囚犯連忙依獄警指示離開現場。我混在逃走行列當中，驀地發現走在前方的人正是與我關係不錯的獄友——阿青。靈機一觸，想到一個減刑方法。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsXhExgOxs6
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCv9cslOw59
「他有參與打鬥！」臨近操場出入口，我突然指著阿青呼叫。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡexaKBJoqTs
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHWXzYbacST
阿青尚未意會我所指何事，已然被獄警壓制在地。他面帶怯色，嘗試辯解：「冤枉啊！我沒有……」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡR5dJBsMiAv
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNScJQwQIua
「我真的看見阿青參與打鬥！」雖知阿青無辜，但為了建功減刑，我唯有狠下心腸補上一刀：「我平日與阿青關係不錯，沒有冤枉他的理由。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh0dCI4Rg5Q
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLfoYMsT1O7
阿青抬頭望我，似乎明白這是甚麼一回事，瞬間臉容扭曲，極力試圖掙脫獄警。更多獄警上前制伏激動不已的阿青，甚至對他施用棍擊。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVtw4G6jvLl
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFNx27EvbST
亂棍之下，頭破血流的阿青咬牙切齒，勉力抬頭怒目瞪著我：「你這忘恩負義的傢伙！枉我在獄中處處維護你，代你吃下不少苦頭！走著瞧！我定會算帳！我不會放過你！我永遠憎恨你！」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8UDWZt313C

狹小房間內，淫穢之聲迴繞不散。在我胯下的年輕小女生或嬌喘或呻吟，胸前兩團白肉隨著抽插節奏晃晃盪盪。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN9Voil0T49
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgZpZAYXKVS
咔——407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1ubYvGkWb6
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNzCQH74KBa
小女生被房外聲響嚇驚，表情僵住：「客廳有人。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiquZuyfAFu
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTJoyHT8JtV
「是我妻子。」我處變不驚，繼續重覆腰肢動作。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOiWTvZAxsl
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa60fpZHXi3
「你不怕……」小女生奇怪我的冷靜。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw627Zp8Jch
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqIrdpizt0C
「孕婦，跑不遠、跑不快，怕甚麼？」我伸手微微施力掐住小女生細長白頸，暗示不滿她話太多。也許不安導致情緒緊張，沒多久我倆雙雙高潮完事。小女生沒有洗澡，匆匆收錢離開。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdtemQHVoCJ
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2Kvyzy9pkw
我叼菸走向梳化，在芝芝身旁坐下，安慰道：「放心。金錢交易。不是長期關係。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡojh0odFfKB
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRdzgZtwcgB
挺著巨肚的芝芝低頭不語，臉色玄青。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3TRA9EhY6k
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc4X51nfe7o
「沒法子。生理需要。總不能憋住十個月。」我口說得輕鬆，心裡細細數算芝芝跟我多少個年頭。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4mGaj4AsfA
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe93uold8KZ
至少三十年。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEILES6gmb
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lcj32DkY4
我們相識於中學三年級，彼此都是十五歲。我當時是小混混，她是不良少女，一拍即合。後來我殺人判囚，幸得減刑出獄。沒能回家。苦惱之際，誰料芝芝主動聯絡，供吃供住，只求與我再續前緣。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUaFmYlnZcY
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp6GGcNKmLi
「我曾為你的付出感動過。奈何純粹的感動無法改變我本性——我天生就是壞人。」我向芝芝坦白感受，不是出於內疚或推卸責任，而是我沒有隱瞞的原因。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoiYTntbHPt
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡckTS8NIb3h
「你曾愛我嗎？」芝芝眼眶通紅，忍淚問了一個傻問題。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVkNtYoDmkH
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl5qKPoSnZ3
「我不知道那是否愛。」我對芝芝沒有愛，但在她身上我感受到何謂愛。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3UDCmf7lCf
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgPnDHmmSCk
「你走吧。我和孩子不需要你。」芝芝終於按捺不住，流下兩行清淚，語帶哭腔：「這刻開始，我會開始憎恨你，永遠憎恨你。」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUzoMGz4X6x
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2S0QpFRysp
「你早該對我死心。」我聳肩表示沒所謂，直接走出大門，離開單位。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjKwKijGqyc

七十歲的我獨居劏房，不良於行，少有外出，平日依靠社工幫忙購置日用品。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtXbb6bVsmm
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡErXzspfoUe
社工是個初出茅廬的年輕人，不知人世險惡，對我毫無戒心。我撒謊說自己被兒女拋棄，她就拿著我提供的假資料尋人。尋人不果就來關心我更多，買來更多物資。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrY5jGwvpjE
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNaD2MGBlWq
相識之初，我經常在心裡嘲笑她笨蛋。不過隨著相處時間增多，我多次目睹她為我無私付出，不禁開始動容，深切自省。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5w71u2KjBV
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6wI1gzXRqj
夜深人靜，流浪狗吠聲忽遠忽近，對面大廈招牌的刺眼強光穿透薄窗簾，在牆上映出花花綠綠迷幻色塊。無眠，憶起很多人，很多我虧欠過的人。爸媽……阿妹……阿青……芝芝……孩子……其實我一直以來知道自己有多壞、多可惡。為何明知故犯？因為我不相信永遠。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡL6GdDGUBFD
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwF5c4k3X9S
沒有永遠的惡，沒有永遠的愛。只有眼前利益和當刻快感。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsOvx0J4gH5
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6xHPtUQVEM
我自私？誰不自私？爸媽養兒防老，阿妹需要爸媽供書教學，阿青幫我是貪慕虛榮，芝芝救我是為彌補遺憾。誰沒計算？人人都在計算！407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFx170LsFxG
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNNipcHJpXH
感動退散，惡意再生。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKWBCPxgMxj
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXlb9x9MNMC
缺失很多，要求更多。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZzYptIKvmN
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhZS1eoCUis
缺失愛，索求愛。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTUJaeH5hDU
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqAWIGRS9YR
變本加厲。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjRoRbHxF9Z
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD2fYhxQQEP
理所當然。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6L3gUUrSx9
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkxM9DKYE6q
社工說疫情險峻，求助人數激增，難以經常前來探望我。我埋怨她不關心我。她解釋說機構人手資源有限，無法重點照顧我一人。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡobhhpD3D6X
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnVDLGOJQ1m
她離開。我撒野：「你偽善！快走！別來！我憎恨你！永遠！」407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXYjqwkF1wP
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0Kcabj1GQa
沒有永遠的愛。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtYxTJECEtR
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8IdZu2UyTx
缺失愛，索求愛。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTpFnzWaVDR
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWROSWeMfiX
鳳姐索價三百元。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEHa28pHHHy
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIpZMVeWnna
她有眼前利益，我有當刻快感。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjDPexxZX6H
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzD1eG2z7fJ
完事。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd4Dwin2RTT
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8DmBlRai0p
一切歸空。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJgPUszZUg9
407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA5pu30k8yW
理所當然。407Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡw2qVJQajxN