Last Chance pt.II | Jay Halstead8Please respect copyright.PENANAPF64iEBmwf
Originally posted by sofuckingchuffed
Summary: Part 2 of Last Chance. Y/N is dealing with mixed emotions about Jay and his confession.
Warnings: No one.
Pairing: Jay Halstead x reader.
Everything seems different. There’s no way that Jay’s life will back to normal after what he said. Part of him wanted to take the time back, just to say it in a different way, on a different occasion, but at the same time, he knew it was his last chance. He never meant that in the way Y/N took it.
She took a couple of free days, just to make sure she was fine. In the end, the feelings that she had were nothing compared to what she thought. Mind and heart, are two parts of her body, and nothing is clear. She knew that only a conversation can make things better.
Day after day and time when she’s back at work came. Even if it has been only 6 days, Y/N felt like she missed a lot of things at the district. She spent most of her free time with family and at her apartment. Because of that, she got a bit disconnected from the world, which makes her feel guilty. She always puts people above herself.
In the morning, when Y/N was getting ready, she heard a knock.
“I’m coming!” she yelled and almost tripped going through the door. Opening them she revealed Jay.
“Oh, Jay. What are you doing here?” she asked.
“I can’t do this anymore. I’m so sorry and you know that, I’ve tried to call you but every single time when I tried I got paralyzed. It’s so simple but also complicated. I don’t want to lose you, you’re so important to me Y/N, you don’t know how much I adore you, how great a detective and friend you are… But when I saw you in this church. I broke. It broke me too much.” there he was. Standing right in front of you with sadness in his eyes. You didn’t know what to do, how to react. You were just scared.
“Jay, I- I don’t know what I can tell you but-”
“No Y/N, let me finish. I know that it’s too much for you and I don’t blame you. I’m not here to make you feel guilty or responsible for whatever happened, but what I want is that you should know my feelings for you. I needed to be honest with me, but especially with you”
“Can we just go inside? And talk? I would like to tell you more than I’m sorry.” she took his hand and dragged him into her apartment.
He was there before so many times and nothing has changed. This big, grey sofa in the middle, a small kitchen on the right side, and his favorite picture frame. He and she are at the music festival with beers in their hands. He looked at her with passion and love. Now they knew what kind of love it was.
“Look, I know that I’ve been distant lately and it’s my fault, but I owe you an apology. You cared so much about me Jay and trust me, there’s nothing wrong about this, about your feelings” she looked into his eyes. He was confused.
“I- I didn’t know if I should have told you about this until now. It’s definitely the right time.” he took her hands into his. They were so cold just like in the time when they first met.
“You don’t have to be sorry Y/N. I’m here and I’m not going anywhere, just tell me what’s going on” she nodded.
“So, um. It’s been a long ride. We know each other for so long, really. I’ve never had someone for that long. Every people that I knew and cared about, left me on the first occasion. When I met you, I saw something special in your eyes. At this moment I felt I can trust you. I was holding your hand because you were nervous. I felt this connection with you and… And when I was in this church and when I saw you, standing there, unarmed… It was too much. I didn’t want you to get hurt because of me. I’m not worth it, trust me.” a tear left her eye, making a path down her left cheek.
“Don’t say that. You know how much important to me and the others you are. You’re my family Y/N. My rock, the better part of me. You’re making me a better person, I’m here because of you”
“It’s not that simple Jay, it’s just… It’s been almost a decade and I never felt ready to say it but here we are. I lost someone Jay. My partner. And I’m not talking about just a partner. He took a bullet that was meant for me. I was his rock too and he was mine. We were together for only a month and he… He took that bullet. I should be dead, not him.” she sobbed. She didn’t see him that clear by this time. Tears blurred her vision.
“Hey, don’t you dare blame yourself for that! Everyone would have done the same. You would have done the same for him. The thing is, no matter how long you were with him or how long did you know each other, if someone loves you that much, this person will do everything to protect you. He did it. He protected you. Look at this in a different way. This better way. He wouldn’t want you to blame yourself for this. I’m sure he’s now looking down at you with a big smile and love in his eyes. He’s definitely proud of you and that’s what you should think about this situation.”
Silent took the advance. They sat together on her couch, he softly rubbed her back while she was quietly sobbing in his chest.
“I don’t want to be your last chance, Jay. I don’t want you to say that you love me because of what could happen to me. I don’t want you to feel sorry for me. I want you to be here with me as I’m here for you. I will always protect you and I would not forgive myself if anything could happen to you, you understand that?”
She pulled up from his chest and wiped off tears from her cheeks. One of her hands found a way to get on his face. It was a warm touch, with real emotions, the electricity that they’ve never had. He was looking into her eyes, trying to find an answer.
“I love you. I love you so much Y/N. Just please remember about this. I don’t expect you to feel the same and if you don’t, we’ll still be friends. You mean too much for me to just let you go.” he whispered. At the same time, his hand went to her right cheek. He wiped the last tear which just rolled on her face. She was smiling at him.
“Jay Halstead. You definitely changed my world for the better one and if you let me… I would like to try to show you how much important you’re to me.”
“It’s too late. You already showed me.” he kissed her forehead, pulling her back to his chest.
The warm touch of their bodies mixed with nice tension and silence. It was the best that they had. Each other.
ns 172.70.179.69da2