Tuesday, After class.136Please respect copyright.PENANA7jr7sIcVri
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I had been thinking about it all day.136Please respect copyright.PENANA3QELcGQQug
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About what Hina said yesterday afternoon, about what happened the week prior. Asking someone else to help with my problems. To fix what felt like to me, a burden that I had been carrying all my life. And the person chosen by her?136Please respect copyright.PENANAmC7iRWcgFz
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Kuroiwa Rei.136Please respect copyright.PENANAYiZgTp9EWG
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I was always familiar with that name. But the person behind it always felt far away and I had my back turned towards him. I’ve only caught the words that were constantly passing around the school. And they were not very pleasant to hear or even to think about. I didn't know what he looked like. Well... just vaguely. The same with most people in our class. I felt that everyone’s eyes refused to look at him. Just like mine. Not even a second.136Please respect copyright.PENANAp8SCf2AmTh
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“There has to be a better option.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJRUYAGnZmb
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Mika finally broke my chain of thoughts. She was standing in front of her desk, two rows near the windows at the front of the classroom.
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I had remained in my seat ever since class ended an hour ago.136Please respect copyright.PENANAXimanRfS8w
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I looked at her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAfOiSWeWDC3
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Her arms crossed like she always did whenever she was against an idea she knew it didn't make any sense. Feet planted on the floor with one slightly ahead of the other. Her face, firm, different from how she usually looked. Her eyebrows tried meeting each other in the middle. I knew that look. I've always known it ever since we were little. And right now? That look was directed to Hina.136Please respect copyright.PENANAvhBJ6vxScx
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“Hina,” Mika continued. “Have you heard about this guy’s reputation?”136Please respect copyright.PENANAFU2XYTdPmY
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Hina was staring toward the back door of the classroom, sitting at her own desk near it. Calm. Steady. Her eyes looked with expectation and her smooth lips, covered with a thin layer of pink lipstick, smiled. She was very relaxed. In fact, she was so relaxed that if I stared at her for a few minutes, I would almost hear her humming in my head. And that bothered me. A tiny little bit.
“Someone told me that he fought ten upperclassmen behind the school!” Yui raised her hand as she poured some of her cheerfulness into jumping down from the teacher’s desk where she sat. “And as a matter of fact, everyone says he has connections to the yakuza.” 136Please respect copyright.PENANAQbHzSjlhuS
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“I heard his eyes have supernatural ability to stab you just by looking,” Hina said. The smile on her face was still there. She turned around to look at Yui. “Apparently three students went blind last week.” She giggled.136Please respect copyright.PENANAuWJamJSWP4
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“That’s weird, I never heard of that.” Yui pondered.136Please respect copyright.PENANAc4HZM7RztI
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Mika started getting impatient. She never found anything funny about what had been said.136Please respect copyright.PENANApYxUjh1h9p
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I did... giggled quietly.136Please respect copyright.PENANAYRuMnCS9sR
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“That’s exactly the point!” Mika uncrossed and recrossed her arms, which for her was the equivalent of raising her voice. “On top of everything – he’s a loner, he never talks to anyone, everyone at school avoids him. People don't just avoid someone for no reason, you know.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAXIiTrDcsRw
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I knew that. I knew all of that.136Please respect copyright.PENANAa3wuh0PPlm
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Since the beginning of the school year, I had spent every school day believing what others had said. And his nature of always being a loner made a radius of two empty seats between him and everybody else during breaks.. The rumors sounded ridiculous, they all did. But there was no reason for me to just throw away all I heard. I never intended to talk to him in the first place, even now.136Please respect copyright.PENANAtuP2cGaRsp
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But the image of my mom being worried, her calling my father who was working overseas. My friends’ frustrations whenever I didn't get what they were teaching me. The supplementary lessons after classes. Me having to go home alone. Everything. They were all mixing together with the thought of this mysterious person who was also my classmate.136Please respect copyright.PENANAw2TVSt5Om5
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I swallowed everything and said nothing.136Please respect copyright.PENANAt1xxNbBqCm
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“Just trust me,” Hina said simply. She was looking at me specifically even though Mika was the one talking to her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAc9ItQneyRU
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I nodded. Very subtle nod.136Please respect copyright.PENANAJrB9Itcbbp
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Then she blinked towards Mika and gave her a stare, the one she always did when she meant to say that she knew more and had no intention to explain anything. We just had to accept it.136Please respect copyright.PENANAwN1Ez9J8En
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Mika opened her mouth. Closed it.136Please respect copyright.PENANAy7jOnfAmlh
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I felt the same way. When Hina was being like this, pushing back was going to become a huge wall to overcome. The words she spoke were few, but the weight of confidence in them was too heavy.136Please respect copyright.PENANApp29tw2q4R
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“I just…” Mika lowered her voice. Her head tilted towards the floor. “I still don’t think this is a good idea.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA8uinf59GQt
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“Terrible idea!” Yui agreed cheerfully while raising both her hands.136Please respect copyright.PENANApivgXilXXj
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I sighed, stood up and went towards Yui. I couldn’t stand the fact that I felt like I was losing an argument I was never even a part of. Maybe in spirit. I don’t know.136Please respect copyright.PENANAB3zpxSX0Tv
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Then the back door opened.136Please respect copyright.PENANAIDfo6CbItE
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I stopped in front of Yui when it happened. I saw her stand up straight from the sound. And I could feel Mika do the same without looking at her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGDiNCYnLiT
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I felt him come in.136Please respect copyright.PENANAWPYZTVEBip
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His steps were slow. With a certain rhythm that sounded careful. Sounded patient. Gentle.136Please respect copyright.PENANAzr2jaD9vw0
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Gentle?136Please respect copyright.PENANAUEbOrjgckU
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Curiosity crept into me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAPZPjvcrUnT
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So I turned. Slowly. Reluctantly, like my body knew something my feet hadn’t caught up yet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAwVlES0PKym
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I looked at him, and he saw my gaze. My eyes snapped back towards the floor.136Please respect copyright.PENANAH6WYg0kcdD
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He kept walking. After taking a brief look, I got the feeling he had been observing us. The three of us in the front of the class. While he continued towards his seat. At the back beside the window.136Please respect copyright.PENANAwAMGbFpFOo
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Behind me, Yui was not moving. I couldn’t see her face but her hands suddenly gripping my arm already told me that she wasn’t looking at him either. Mika as well seemed to be doing the same when I glanced at her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAp6JVlSTznH
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“What does he look like?” Yui whispered.136Please respect copyright.PENANAnjkBjoX2UH
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“You have eyes.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAnM5FSYiCQG
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“I can’t use them right now.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAFtzWPGpcuD
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“Why not?”136Please respect copyright.PENANAhk4PARQiNB
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“I just can’t.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAaK3UXNWkJZ
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“Hi.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAzD04nIdaAw
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That calm voice that suddenly filled the silence came from Hina.136Please respect copyright.PENANAsqAftebiXa
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Just a little bit. For just a little bit I looked up at her direction.136Please respect copyright.PENANASFTElprrxz
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She was composed. Walking. Confident with each step. Towards the silhouette of that guy I was currently trying not to look at.136Please respect copyright.PENANAtvK72rpd8Q
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I could almost hear the thoughts of Yui and Mika synchronized with mine.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZfhi63V22e
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How?
How is she so calm right now?136Please respect copyright.PENANAjsAHW8GDAB
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“Kuroiwa Rei,” Hina said, with a slight hint of familiarity in her voice. But as far as I know, this is the first time I heard her talk to him. “Do you think you can listen for a second?”136Please respect copyright.PENANAGW0MRFEBTG
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The silence was everywhere inside the room. Too quiet that the noises that came from the classroom below us were the sounds I could hear.136Please respect copyright.PENANAVNLNLCnNkb
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I never heard an answer from him. Normally, you would stop talking to the guy at that point, right? Normally, you would think that he's not interested in having a conversation with you. But Hina was different. At least I think she was acting differently than normal at this point. I thought she knew what normal meant. But right now? She was definitely ignoring what it meant.136Please respect copyright.PENANAeZlRbH88wH
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“There’s something the four of us need from you.” And there you go, she kept talking. And of course, with the ease of someone acting like she did not just spend the last few minutes being reminded that this could be a bad idea. “We were hoping you might be able to help our friend study.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAkPKY7HBGvO
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I flinched. I was not ready for the conversation to shift onto my existence.136Please respect copyright.PENANAsbAQ2lMtpB
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“Study?” he said.136Please respect copyright.PENANA85n8lwqYFy
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One word. The first time I heard him talk as far as I could remember. And it was that one word delivered in a voice that was flat and unhurried yet somehow still managed to fill the space it occupied completely.136Please respect copyright.PENANAzJSVIXZEqw
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“Exactly,” Hina said, sounding genuinely pleased.136Please respect copyright.PENANAabNaW1op36
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I was not. Definitely not pleased.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGIYy6mDAeh
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I kept drifting my eyes towards Hina but when I caught a glimpse of him I reverted to my companion, which is the floor. I kept repeating the same thing, but mostly, the one who I intended to look at was Hina. And unfortunately, my eyes were conversing in silence with the floor when footsteps started to fill the room.136Please respect copyright.PENANASr1niru9Er
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Slow. Steady. Careful. Patient.
My eyes refused to look up. I wanted to brace myself but perhaps looking down was the much safer option to choose right now.136Please respect copyright.PENANADZDyilIQDZ
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The footsteps got closer. Then stopped.136Please respect copyright.PENANASFLxK48q3u
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It stopped right in front of me.136Please respect copyright.PENANACjJietR7Ed
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I didn’t move. I tried to breathe.136Please respect copyright.PENANAKUCmXbUwsi
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Then I looked up because not looking felt worse. I was careful not to look at his face. But an open hand sure appeared right in front of me. Patiently waiting.136Please respect copyright.PENANAtrLZFja27H
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“Test papers,” he said.136Please respect copyright.PENANAQDwNF4ZTd0
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“Ah.” I didn’t intend to let out any sound, I did anyways.136Please respect copyright.PENANAnozvtBdBlP
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I hurriedly went back to my seat but the grip of Yui’s hand behind me slowed me down a little. I wasn’t thinking about it when I released my arm from her hands. I felt her trying to grab it again but I was already far. I felt sorry. She stood there in front of him for two seconds before she decided to follow me and settled behind me once again. My hands managed to find my test papers inside my bag. I took a deep breath then started walking towards him. Yui followed me, still behind me. Then, without looking at him directly, I offered them to him.136Please respect copyright.PENANAqFTg90SZh9
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At that moment I wondered.136Please respect copyright.PENANAPQ4BCQIPrB
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Will he laugh? The thoughts arrived continuously. I’ve never shown anyone these scores except my friends. Not even my mom. Is he even capable of laughing?136Please respect copyright.PENANAPnL77E78fb
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“I bet his laugh would sound like a villain’s,” Yui whispered from behind me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAuJXJfTJ6BK
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“Not now,” I whispered back.136Please respect copyright.PENANAdEbpVNZTey
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He took the papers and glanced at the first one.136Please respect copyright.PENANAOEhkqpLRu7
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“Terrible.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAfVAUU09mFi
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I heard Yui swallow a laugh behind me and I made a note to address that later.136Please respect copyright.PENANATTxDPLoN9b
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“Hey.” Mika raised her voice suddenly. She still looked stiff but the comment she heard from him somehow gathered some courage for her to say what was on her mind. “You can’t just say it like that.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA4JUoSSv1KX
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He looked at her from the corner of his eye.136Please respect copyright.PENANADuNXILXECc
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She went quiet.136Please respect copyright.PENANA1P3PZPJ0is
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Thank you, Mika… Sorry, Mika…136Please respect copyright.PENANA6j4fDixB7V
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The movements of his hands told me that he went back to examine my test papers. I still couldn’t look at his face. Partly because of the conceived idea that this guy was scary. And also partly because I was nervous about seeing his judging eyes. I just stared at his hands. He wasn’t saying anything but I could feel the tension building around my stomach. I could imagine him trying to look at every single mistake I made, every silly answers I gave. And I wanted to sigh. I couldn’t even sigh.136Please respect copyright.PENANAA0ddElTzt7
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“But not impossible,” he said.136Please respect copyright.PENANAytj8Mkm8uK
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I blinked.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZ275S5Ru1M
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“Really?” Hina sounded delighted. I was confused.136Please respect copyright.PENANAYT2p6uRvwP
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Not… impossible… I repeated his words back to my thoughts.136Please respect copyright.PENANAgtZb39ybQ9
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“She answered everything,” he continued. “Ninety percent wrong. But she answered everything.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAlSs7JQURgg
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Another muffled sound from behind me.136Please respect copyright.PENANA2dxd5inOg2
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Yui… I swear.136Please respect copyright.PENANAJ8G3PQQBVo
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“The answers she gave were wrong. But they aren’t random,” he explained. “She gave some kind of logic behind them, wrong logic, but there’s effort and it shows that she’s trying to solve them.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAL8nU9xwOhj
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I listened to him. And I started thinking back.136Please respect copyright.PENANAfGFBlV8qNn
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Because..136Please respect copyright.PENANAjzB2POopxC
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I had tried. I had studied. I gave my all.136Please respect copyright.PENANAb4yjKJBUbJ
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Everything was wrong in the end. It felt like I wasted all those times I stayed up late reading my notes, checking all my text books and yet failing to retain what I learned.136Please respect copyright.PENANAls1MLmZma4
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I gave the right efforts for everything. But the wrong results were what I got back.136Please respect copyright.PENANA0acNgawX2A
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I wanted to tell him. I wanted someone to acknowledge them. And I don’t know if he did. So I asked.136Please respect copyright.PENANAbVb5HipXMH
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“Does that mean… there’s still hope?” My voice came out steadier than I expected.136Please respect copyright.PENANAI322lh4mCF
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“Sure,” he replied.136Please respect copyright.PENANAS8v6FtPvu8
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That wasn’t reassuring. An of course would’ve been better. Just sure, like it was simply a fact he was confirming.136Please respect copyright.PENANA9Kz2mSnpVF
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I’ll take it, I thought.136Please respect copyright.PENANACvTRkOVOHr
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“But I have a condition,” he suddenly added.136Please respect copyright.PENANAbBs0PU2MTI
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I was in the middle of smiling when I heard that. And I felt my smile slowly fading and then my mouth opened.136Please respect copyright.PENANARTh3IS1Frc
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Of course. It’s not going to be for free.136Please respect copyright.PENANAl6SGbn6kad
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“How much?” I asked, before I’d thought about it.136Please respect copyright.PENANAr3q8LiHN9Y
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“I don’t need your money.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAp7Q30CRoCk
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I looked at him… for a second then I looked at his hands. Then what?136Please respect copyright.PENANAsQ7I4f9Kax
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“What do you mean?” Mika already asked before I could. She already crossed her arms again, and that meant she was already done adapting from the tension. I wished I could do the same. “If it’s not money, tell us what you want.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAXIbKXV7wIj
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He was just silent. Then he walked. Unhurried as always, back to his seat.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZdDFbTyhVJ
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He reached into his bag and took out a notebook. Then he slowly tore a page from it. He steadily placed the notebook back inside his bag. And carefully he wrote on that page he tore. He patiently folded it neatly. And then he finally walked back.
Why is he being slow when I’m already nervous?136Please respect copyright.PENANA52XNJjLrol
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He stopped in front of me and held out that neatly folded paper to me.136Please respect copyright.PENANALVi6Vfrq0C
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“Don’t open it yet,” he said. “That’s my address.”136Please respect copyright.PENANALCd9i6PPJj
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“Why are you giving her your address?” Mika’s voice went sharp immediately.136Please respect copyright.PENANAEJXfNR6YXt
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He kept his eyes on me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAQb0GK7i574
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“Come to that address tomorrow afternoon,” he said. “Alone. If you want to hear the condition, you’ll hear it there.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAF7k8vmuPwq
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Alone? I sat with that word for a moment.136Please respect copyright.PENANA8e51yqAYY4
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Alone. In his apartment. Just the two of us?136Please respect copyright.PENANAVp0d6ohvRk
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Me, with a boy with a terrible reputation?136Please respect copyright.PENANA0Dt7ZZniED
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I had to say no. No was the immediate answer. And it’s where this conversation should end.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGOm6JfuY8t
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But the word. That one easy word to say wouldn’t come out. Instead it was drowned by two other words.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZMmODsIa03
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Not Impossible.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGl3PeY1heD
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“No!” Mika said what I couldn't. “Absolutely not! Why does she need to come alone? I’ll go with her.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAdmRoIG7jB6
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“I need her to come alone.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJtpmIa40ng
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“Then this is over. We’re not agreeing to that.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAbuyo1AJm0S
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He looked at her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGPOe1nr3NG
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“Tojo Mika,” he said.136Please respect copyright.PENANAxzXnQKKbsi
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Mika stopped.136Please respect copyright.PENANAtPDKkiHE46
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“Always ready to answer when the teacher calls on you. Above average grades. A few points from breaking into the top ten.” He retained his usual way of talking. Serious, precise and unwavering. “The annoying girl with pigtails.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJks6QrrKJz
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Mika’s mouth opened.136Please respect copyright.PENANAb6UAQfOyhB
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“Shirogane Yui.” He stared at the one who had been trying to hide behind me all this time.136Please respect copyright.PENANAW7jiyExwFn
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Yui made a small startled sound.136Please respect copyright.PENANAJ36FXA55Za
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“Decent in class. Your reasoning when teachers call on you is good. You just don’t take studying seriously enough. A little more effort and you’d be above average.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA7LumChlILg
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“Oh,” Yui said softly. I could practically feel her eyes glittering wide behind me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAcfJJVMHkeW
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“Asakura Hina.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJyYcCs1JXw
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“Hmm?” Hina tilted her head like she’d just been greeted across the cafeteria.136Please respect copyright.PENANA6RYotvOHsO
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He paused for a second.136Please respect copyright.PENANA5ObhhRFBNU
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“Top two in our grade. Excellent across subjects. Your math is the one place you’re leaving points on the table.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAjwG7YwlRVX
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“My, you’re actually right.” Hina smiled. Genuinely smiled. Like she was pleased someone had brought it out and noticed.136Please respect copyright.PENANAOwHXk73l9T
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I heard that. And I wanted to protest. She got 91 in math and he still called it lacking? Isn’t that a little bit absurd?136Please respect copyright.PENANA5Y4ARWfQpq
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I felt mildly annoyed this time.136Please respect copyright.PENANAUT5IZ04Z8X
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“None of you are bad students,” he continued. “All three of you know how to study.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA8tocu7gvDH
136Please respect copyright.PENANARTg4V9X5FX
“So what is your point?” Mika said. Still sounding fierce. But when I looked at her. She was looking at the floor. It felt like she knew what he was going to say next but still asked anyway.136Please respect copyright.PENANALGV3jzPXHy
136Please respect copyright.PENANAsO5IeakMUf
“And yet.” He paused. “You gave up on her.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA9TsEFJrhSq
136Please respect copyright.PENANA6kuJEBXAnC
Everyone went still.136Please respect copyright.PENANAdOMawvu7aO
136Please respect copyright.PENANAvaMiZ3Pnkc
Yui stopped moving behind me. Mika’s arms dropped slowly. Even Hina was quiet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZmE4VXgfio
136Please respect copyright.PENANAkzk1A2ObXD
As for myself. I did not understand what he meant.136Please respect copyright.PENANA1lmwxilWZw
136Please respect copyright.PENANA4Ss80r4ZTB
“You probably tried,” he continued. “And when it didn’t work, you stopped. Three people who know how to study. And none of you stopped to ask why it wasn’t working for her. Why she couldn’t hold onto what you were teaching her.”136Please respect copyright.PENANADSzqsFVWPY
136Please respect copyright.PENANAHacqFTtZLq
“It’s not their fault.” I let it out. I wasn’t planning to, but I let it out all the same. My voice was shaking slightly, I wanted him to stop. “It’s hard for me to hold onto things. They’d explain something and I’d get it, and then after a while it would be gone. It’s not their fault. They did everything for me. They did everything they could. I was just… lacking…”136Please respect copyright.PENANAA85Ubq9vcU
136Please respect copyright.PENANAfD7fdGAlJu
My hands were shaking at my sides.136Please respect copyright.PENANA597nMK19IS
136Please respect copyright.PENANA3NEnZ6hnFh
“I’m the problem. Not them.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAG3SzntmGUO
136Please respect copyright.PENANAyrhbpW5lVK
I tried to let those words sink into him. But the voice that came out next wasn’t from the person I wanted to speak in this moment.136Please respect copyright.PENANA1g8b992tRd
136Please respect copyright.PENANAuX6vT1A0JB
“I’m sorry, Runa,” Mika said. It was barely a whisper.136Please respect copyright.PENANAGdR04LCaUV
136Please respect copyright.PENANAUpBu4SDp9X
Behind me. Yui’s hands let go of my arm and she wrapped hers around me. She was quiet, and her embrace meant an apology I didn’t want her to give.136Please respect copyright.PENANA25pLovMJRH
136Please respect copyright.PENANAwv6rEe3JqR
I stared at the floor.136Please respect copyright.PENANA0Kkiavxtjb
136Please respect copyright.PENANAM0EZAZNHnJ
It’s not their fault. It was never their fault.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZAmDhBvIhO
136Please respect copyright.PENANAN282JeZJ14
He let out a long exhale from across me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAux6FF3Ek7e
136Please respect copyright.PENANAE2leAcBmVK
“I know,” he said. “You think it’s your fault.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAX6lqWVJlan
136Please respect copyright.PENANAY7h0fD7lBF
“You don’t understand…” I looked up at him. I looked up at his face. And for the first time I actually looked. Really looked. And I noticed immediately. His hair, messy and dark. Clearly never been introduced to a comb. His face that looked sharper than I expected up close. Angular in a way that would have been striking if he put any effort into it at all, which I assumed was something he would never do. He’s taller than me by some noticeable margin. And his eyes were just looking back at me. Dark and direct and completely still. Intense, in a way that made sense of why people avoided them. But honest. Telling me that all he just said was true. “Don’t say it like that about them. They tried. They really tried to help me. They tried everything.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAK41fBhkcze
136Please respect copyright.PENANA1Nn1XHLuaT
He held my stare. Never looked away, never felt threatened. Somehow it was more unnerving than if he had.136Please respect copyright.PENANA43tiwItu0M
136Please respect copyright.PENANA1Yd8FCqZFO
“You’re right,” he said. “I don’t understand.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJN4ihSgeGi
136Please respect copyright.PENANAqPnPJ5A2p7
He looked around and then stopped his gaze on me.136Please respect copyright.PENANAVyZMl4iErK
136Please respect copyright.PENANAw8NQV8HknL
“But from where I’m standing. All of you are at fault.” His voice cut through my excuses. “Not because they gave up, but because none of you understood why it wasn’t working. Not them. Not you. Nobody stopped to ask the right question.”136Please respect copyright.PENANATeKuSXUXS5
136Please respect copyright.PENANAZLOKuiLzV0
Where I failed, he succeeded. Those words he said sank deep inside me. But the quiet my friends had surrounded me with, made me feel like it sank deeper for them.136Please respect copyright.PENANA0uqs9UeRsL
136Please respect copyright.PENANABl0x92pCcV
“Studying is a skill,” he said suddenly. “It’s not something you either have or don’t. It’s something you learn. Something you can get better at. But only if you understand how.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAwYeYEpbZxI
136Please respect copyright.PENANAzOezYJZXwi
That stuck inside my thoughts.136Please respect copyright.PENANAdupeUWJrYy
136Please respect copyright.PENANALDmhSwrgPV
A skill.136Please respect copyright.PENANAMcEkRICuxY
136Please respect copyright.PENANAHAVRYQC2OZ
Not a talent. Not something you either had or didn’t. Something you could actually get better at.136Please respect copyright.PENANAPnBjPTWiQS
136Please respect copyright.PENANAEXd8rI2Ger
Which sounded like exactly the kind of thing someone said right before they sold you something.136Please respect copyright.PENANAEy3fRt14r8
136Please respect copyright.PENANAywL1t4gt3h
And yet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAL8kUsUkIv6
136Please respect copyright.PENANAmNdIOyR5ou
I wanted to believe it so badly. I wanted it to be real. But I don’t know if he was telling the truth. I don’t know if I could actually trust his words.136Please respect copyright.PENANAMzgWi59A46
136Please respect copyright.PENANAoHNI3oEONE
He moved towards his bag and carried it with his hand towards the back door of the classroom where he suddenly stopped.136Please respect copyright.PENANAkMLtOeH1ml
136Please respect copyright.PENANA00N33uu19w
I watched him. He was moving slowly, but not as slow as I remembered a few minutes ago.136Please respect copyright.PENANA8K623SV2kz
136Please respect copyright.PENANAOnnSHmmjvM
“If I help you,” he said, “you’ll be in the top ten of our grade by the end of the year.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAIztSmXYfpr
136Please respect copyright.PENANALy3pqXccbP
Mika’s eyebrow went up.136Please respect copyright.PENANAKMl54R05Yd
136Please respect copyright.PENANAlq8lXB7grX
I didn’t say anything. I just listened.136Please respect copyright.PENANAv0htDSVYpN
136Please respect copyright.PENANAvuSlvKtc5u
“It won’t be easy,” he continued. “But it’s achievable.” He stared at me. “If you agree to my condition.”136Please respect copyright.PENANATC7Mbc2YL4
136Please respect copyright.PENANA4TQJEefhop
And just like that. He was gone.136Please respect copyright.PENANAtuU2bjpbPJ
136Please respect copyright.PENANAhkZIjoEX5I
Nobody was making a sound. Not even Yui, who I thought would’ve already said something ridiculous but she stayed behind me gripping her arms around me tighter than before.136Please respect copyright.PENANArdYYNEwFY9
136Please respect copyright.PENANAlhNgR5t7qV
“He called me annoying.” Mika broke the silence. Her voice had a mix of ‘about to get angry’ and ‘about to get confused’.136Please respect copyright.PENANA3OhpwRx6a2
136Please respect copyright.PENANAHDKG2hgrvr
“He called all of us by name,” Hina offered.136Please respect copyright.PENANA6WTUJTLEGL
136Please respect copyright.PENANALzPijeymZa
“He specifically called me annoying!”136Please respect copyright.PENANA5vbytrBrzn
136Please respect copyright.PENANACMXHRFql5m
“He also assessed all our academic capabilities without ever being asked.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAcRDt8ItoiT
136Please respect copyright.PENANAsVWtdPdfcX
“That’s creepy and also not the point.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAokL9t2X7XN
136Please respect copyright.PENANAflqPGDyv5r
“He was wrong to call you annoying,” Hina said. “But was he wrong about everything else?”136Please respect copyright.PENANAWySDIE5aIH
136Please respect copyright.PENANA9K93GYs4CO
Mika slowly stared at the floor. “...No.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAsbN9kVnzSG
136Please respect copyright.PENANADGhwTsKNy9
“I was hurt as well, since he was right.” Hina carefully walked towards Mika, then she placed her hand on Mika’s head. “But I think he is someone we can trust,” she said and her familiar smile returned.136Please respect copyright.PENANAcCWvWqatKT
136Please respect copyright.PENANAOaJhivQ2zM
“How do you know that?” Yui finally spoke, peeking at Hina from behind me.136Please respect copyright.PENANABIuWoTGUap
136Please respect copyright.PENANAci7bqEDldE
Hina smiled wider. “I just do.” She glanced at Yui and gave her a little wink.136Please respect copyright.PENANA2tfJTnRogu
136Please respect copyright.PENANAYlVYQuxiCs
“You can be really weird sometimes,” Yui told her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAasIDa5srlo
136Please respect copyright.PENANACBKz93tc6W
And I agreed with Yui. I didn’t know what to think. Everything he said seemed too good to be true. Top ten? In just a year?136Please respect copyright.PENANAYLxbfH40C5
136Please respect copyright.PENANA0Y782hWX5M
I looked at the folded paper in my hand.136Please respect copyright.PENANAqVf7gYDpAZ
136Please respect copyright.PENANAa3fsccOfHJ
“… I still don’t trust him,” Mika said quietly. But I heard it.136Please respect copyright.PENANA0EEY5hu47j
136Please respect copyright.PENANALRffS62Ra9
I don’t either. But the hope he gave me was uncomfortable and at the same time something that I wanted to hold onto. Something that maybe could turn my life around.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZm2XBJWYNb
136Please respect copyright.PENANAJaSRnXICSK
I closed my fingers around the paper.136Please respect copyright.PENANAgG1S6BEIkp
136Please respect copyright.PENANAGaQ6yJP3XW
This idea is terrible, I thought.136Please respect copyright.PENANAPtnbZm5xFq
136Please respect copyright.PENANANrTXD5PWwU
And yet.136Please respect copyright.PENANA5x2lnIyl0S
136Please respect copyright.PENANA6a0XuWh9LB
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------136Please respect copyright.PENANAK3fnHkyRf6
Tuesday, afternoon136Please respect copyright.PENANAEiEtSLcAjN
136Please respect copyright.PENANASTEPji3hbg
On the walk to the station, Yui and Hina did most of the talking.
Yui finally regained enough of her composure for her to tell us stories about what was happening in another class. Specifically class 2-C. And she presented them with such focus and energy that she was like delivering some breaking news. Hina listened as she always did and sometimes contributed to them as well.136Please respect copyright.PENANAolo8jq7kTx
136Please respect copyright.PENANAWP7BwUz9Vt
I laughed with them. I said the right things. I didn’t want to show that what happened just a few moments ago was still shaking my thoughts.136Please respect copyright.PENANAdufXXyyMaj
136Please respect copyright.PENANA3YNvkgNH1k
Mika walked beside me like she always did. She wasn’t talking.136Please respect copyright.PENANAlpKOIi0T5o
136Please respect copyright.PENANASPFbLg28wx
That was always how she got when something was sitting on her. The words went inward instead of out. I knew because I’d been watching it happen since we were small enough that the walk between our houses felt like an adventure.136Please respect copyright.PENANAyNyNqzFKPw
136Please respect copyright.PENANAFT1CcOH7gN
We split at the station like we always did. Yui and Hina going one direction, Mika and I going the other. Yui waved her hands as she rode the train with Hina. I smiled at her. And then they were gone.136Please respect copyright.PENANASv7RHEKySe
136Please respect copyright.PENANA5KUi8kmrEL
The train was quiet for the few stops between school and home, and by the time we were walking the familiar street toward our houses the afternoon had gone golden and long around us.136Please respect copyright.PENANApq4vxZLKB5
136Please respect copyright.PENANAkZ7s4S4197
Mika hadn’t said anything yet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAeEAA8FgSln
136Please respect copyright.PENANAisChMU9JiJ
I let her be.136Please respect copyright.PENANAEfoBamFvLq
136Please respect copyright.PENANAlhR1QjCzsG
“Will you go?” she asked finally.136Please respect copyright.PENANA0PJB3OBfWk
136Please respect copyright.PENANAW7CaV0QwOg
“I don’t know.” I wasn’t sure. Maybe I was sure.136Please respect copyright.PENANA7TiRGo0E80
136Please respect copyright.PENANA9zHQ0vZCgJ
I don’t know. I repeated in my head.136Please respect copyright.PENANAWT6RVrqTB4
136Please respect copyright.PENANAQ900qyWXXN
“He’s not someone you can trust easily,” Mika continued.136Please respect copyright.PENANAUjn35JcTW7
136Please respect copyright.PENANAvTx05PyTgt
“I know.”136Please respect copyright.PENANACglOr3gblB
136Please respect copyright.PENANAbuDorU56Co
“Everything he said…” She stopped herself. I knew what the end of that sentence was.136Please respect copyright.PENANAppoKd9WAmY
136Please respect copyright.PENANAGuTdWI95mC
Sounds impossible. Doesn’t add up. Doesn’t make sense.136Please respect copyright.PENANAhTAZ5HVVnb
136Please respect copyright.PENANAk0wppqbRaO
“I know,” I said again.136Please respect copyright.PENANAok5E98eCvk
136Please respect copyright.PENANAztrBk4JxsE
We walked half a block without talking.136Please respect copyright.PENANAK0SZ2PFmPG
136Please respect copyright.PENANAr2bT85Aghy
“I’m sorry,” Mika said. Softer this time. “I keep thinking, if we’d tried harder, or differently…”136Please respect copyright.PENANAD6aEKVgefa
136Please respect copyright.PENANAe9cTj0V4wK
“Stop,” I said gently. “It’s not yours to be sorry for. I mean it.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAsfCDRti97I
136Please respect copyright.PENANAzm0ow8baPR
“I want to try again. We can start over, do it differently…”
“Mika…”136Please respect copyright.PENANAJAOwRF2XPD
136Please respect copyright.PENANA0zOm7FzLgm
She went quiet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAeqWluHNDFD
136Please respect copyright.PENANAnxVeOPNcOe
“You already tried,” I said. “You all did. And I know you would again if I asked. But I also know it didn’t work, and I don’t know why, and maybe that’s what he was talking about.” I looked at the street ahead. “The right question nobody asked.”136Please respect copyright.PENANADme4UGnT1c
136Please respect copyright.PENANA3BDqmS4bEv
Mika kept silent as we continued to walk.136Please respect copyright.PENANAh9rAWcmYtw
136Please respect copyright.PENANAZST4K0Tu29
A few seconds later.136Please respect copyright.PENANAmXteBzFK12
136Please respect copyright.PENANAkXCoxFpq6D
“If you decide to go,” Mika said eventually, “and anything feels wrong…”136Please respect copyright.PENANAxgqKSZngcO
136Please respect copyright.PENANAFv2u4ychQl
“I’ll call you immediately.”136Please respect copyright.PENANApVZx2Te4iX
136Please respect copyright.PENANAFy663bl05I
“Before immediately.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAy3XBRNVrEQ
136Please respect copyright.PENANABeB8YrNtKS
“Before immediately,” I agreed.136Please respect copyright.PENANA4kfaMPO0Si
136Please respect copyright.PENANA1MyG3c0kue
“I don’t want you to go.”136Please respect copyright.PENANASV1wtTtsQU
136Please respect copyright.PENANAtXga6tCjNO
“I know.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAOD8VyEb7nM
136Please respect copyright.PENANAiC2RWecFJi
“But you’re going to anyway.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAgK4nk0rpdz
136Please respect copyright.PENANAiRKWTnVs7T
I looked at the folded paper still in my hand.136Please respect copyright.PENANASTmNl3A8DP
136Please respect copyright.PENANAwInwFarZg5
“...Maybe,” I said.136Please respect copyright.PENANAT6w6lPtr92
136Please respect copyright.PENANAqihO4OSnOW
Mika exhaled. She knew that at this point she would never be able to convince me.136Please respect copyright.PENANA2HHjAMPSk7
136Please respect copyright.PENANAIyL03v4qPJ
I smiled at her.136Please respect copyright.PENANAOtQA0tIdLN
136Please respect copyright.PENANAWT6TenelMt
“Stay safe,” she said. “Call me when you get there. Call me when you leave.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA4qKonv8gRj
136Please respect copyright.PENANAwKvkOjVoKN
“Okay, mom.”136Please respect copyright.PENANA84XNmAID8n
136Please respect copyright.PENANAmC0PAG7MW1
“I’m serious.”136Please respect copyright.PENANAxTpLpQimJj
136Please respect copyright.PENANABWsvVwXiyt
“I know you are. That’s why I said it.”136Please respect copyright.PENANALiCzMGD9xg
She smiled at me but as soon as she turned away, I caught her trying to hide an expression she didn’t want me to see.136Please respect copyright.PENANAFicWXl4Nro
136Please respect copyright.PENANA4itxyAkAcS
I looked up at the sky instead. The clouds had turned colors, orange edging into pink at the horizon, the blue above it going deeper.136Please respect copyright.PENANAzHbv0cCS3N
136Please respect copyright.PENANAyii3IDMOiJ
Will I go?136Please respect copyright.PENANAY5S0FUjeqE
136Please respect copyright.PENANAcUfRHKRoDV
I didn’t have the answer yet.136Please respect copyright.PENANAZQw3laFnfV
136Please respect copyright.PENANAJg2R3N8hci
But I was running out of time to keep saying I didn’t know.
136Please respect copyright.PENANAFBoIwlrMxN

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