Saturday. 11:38 am.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7lrkX7kh6E
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNTaiNGguoW
About two hours ago, Kuroiwa asked me,49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vDN3Sz2RC
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhKKwpkA7EE
‘How do you learn English?’49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYds2S564c8
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsSlKETubz3
What did I answer? Well of course, I said my favorite reply, ‘I don’t know’. Because surely if I had known, I wouldn’t have asked for anyone’s help to study.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmuzNLMaxNa
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv0niUBMx3f
Kuroiwa said, ‘If you want to learn how to pronounce, then listen. If you want to learn grammar, then read. If you want to learn how to communicate, then speak. If you want to remember the words, then write.’49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKe3PTTKjG
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtmu3LcmFiK
I didn’t know if they were true. All I knew was to trust his words.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡabFbc4D0Uh
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSg74HSWR7G
And I regret that I did…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡohb1MRmZ5x
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTiVBrVuyuK
And here I was, two hours later, sitting in front of this table, holding a pen, writing on a blank page of another blank notebook he gave me earlier. I copied every letter, every word, every sentence of the book I always saw him read whenever I came to his apartment. And every time I copied a word, I had to read it out loud.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRFadAeJ11c
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNoAwvkoegu
Because apparently, ‘The most effective way to learn is to write, read what you write, say what you read, and listen to what you say.’49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAB7rcnsWRc
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLLCtvJLfat
And the result… I had already filled too many pages of this once blank notebook. Because every time I misspelled, misread, misspoke and mispronounced just one word, I had to start from the very beginning.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡse8rDFLVF0
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQFctEGGL5p
My arms were tired, my eyes were tired, my hands, fingers and my feet tucked under me while I sat. Every piece of my body was tired.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbzz81e9fNY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh68mGeonrM
The worst part was, five minutes ago, Kuroiwa went to the kitchen. And it seemed like he was not intending to come back.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImkHyokvyb
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbJKyxuuAJJ
I took a peek at him. Kuroiwa looked like he was preparing something. I heard the sizzling sound from the pan, the exhaust fan was turned on at the top of the stove, sucking in all the smoke the pan he was using made, and because of that, none of the aroma travelled toward the living room. Maybe he was frying the fish that he bought this morning? But, the most important thing was, it seemed like whatever he was doing in there, was where he glued his attention.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkfthXnvPm
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF5qixUW0Y0
So maybe…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7GhIAzMVpX
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPSQvESZ7YR
I stretched my legs under the table. I had to lean sideways for me to do it. Carefully, I set aside the notebook and the book he told me to copy, then I slumped my face, my chest, and my stomach on top of the table, my hands extended to reach the other end. And then… Heaven… Finally…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsVjovuEPEY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg3w8x3hffo
If I was being lazy, it was because Kuroiwa left me all alone at the table.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3SFiwKgonG
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeDns0rQljT
Kuroiwa could’ve told me to rest. I thought.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzyGxs7IguY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPnYYCmSr7O
“Write.” I heard.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBv6gZFN0pj
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnDjyiRVTVZ
Kuroiwa spoke from the kitchen. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQyS6mRUGQH
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡklBCdUD7fU
Ugh…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTYYaOaZioH
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ82D1tE4zcm
I straightened my back reluctantly, leaned backwards, used my hands to support my back, and tilted my head backward to watch what Kuroiwa was doing.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPQVWi3BBSA
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCcR3JpLzHr
Kuroiwa was still busy, and it seemed like he was busy enough to not even lay an eye toward me. So how could he notice I was slacking? I stuck out a little bit of my tongue toward him briefly when I knew he wasn’t fully paying attention to me. Then I sat properly in front of the table and went back to copying the book and writing in the notebook.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcjvkBHsrn3
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNXB8NvtnS4
I flipped the book from where I stopped. Starting from the first page of the first chapter.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDfUhovXtoG
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡesypG86yz3
One… two… three… four… five…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaJsWc4UdLg
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGJgCBGddZN
Five pages. I was already able to write this much without going back from the start? I went back to the notebook I was writing in. Counted the pages I had filled.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhnS6o0G5vO
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIx3wLCFlzK
Twenty-three… twenty-four… twenty-five…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡN1hwSjuTln
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXd0ZAoOIGm
Twenty-five pages from the first page, in two hours…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5DgPNzDNLA
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYyJ0lBlMt
I thought about it for a second, then turned my eyes toward the notebooks that I placed inside my bag. Those notebooks were twice as thick as the one he gave me earlier, but they also had around a quarter of each of them filled. Almost twice as many as I had written today. At least, if you compared them side by side, or counted them.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFsTk9H84Vs
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHM6jsr8ibO
I went silent. This was still the biggest mystery to me. Why? Why would he do this…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfoLlzi5fHp
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTWxZicHyEu
“Let’s take a break,” Kuroiwa said as he approached the living room. I watched him walk around the sofas then stopped at the opposite side of the low table.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS5dRRZfwAy
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡACmZ8RQEEf
I set aside the notebook and the book after closing them as fast as I could. All I could think about at that moment was, finally, finally I was going to take the official break that I deserved. I lifted both my arms in the air and stretched them along with my back. I felt a bit of relief, but I still felt the tiredness that the two hour session had left me with.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHKPIHQQBgh
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWB2XrQJ2b
Suddenly a faint warm aroma entered my nose. I closed my eyes and savored the smell for a few seconds, then opened them to look at Kuroiwa.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmXODGCdJJY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4GUBfRhV6F
“I didn’t know you could cook,” I said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAkYs3WElvz
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqMshBeTTnS
“Somewhat,” Kuroiwa replied.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOAWjlFG3dO
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzBhCUOFVgj
“Did you fry the fish you bought this morning?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoRM5bi8M3M
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbsodKgIa1I
“Yes.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTxVX5DtyzW
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCDDGGF3pSb
“I see…”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcAhyho5QLg
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeB2jNPg8XB
One word answers again…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtVUhOfjeK1
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzEoVwnf7bM
I felt defeated that I slumped down just like earlier. My entire upper body on top of the table, arms stretched toward Kuroiwa’s end, barely touching his hands that he placed there. Then, I noticed he was about to pull them away.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡroE35ahoom
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsThcjHKc4o
I pouted.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGXF3BBK2Yp
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaPePnOtuc8
“Don’t move… just stay there…” I said. My voice wasn’t demanding. But it was a little bit higher pitched than I intended to. Softer than I wanted to. Gentler than I imagined it to sound.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeTwwqBipwt
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUVeZ0Ur2LA
I knew I was partly at fault for why he was trying to put distance between us. But for some reason, right now, I didn’t want that distance at all. Of course, I hadn’t forgotten about the reason why I did what I did yesterday afternoon, the condition that Kuroiwa had given. Obviously, I hated it. Obviously, I wasn’t intending to acknowledge it. Even though I came here asking for his help. Obviously, it wasn’t enough reason to lay it out as a consequence for my failure.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9rnXLtQX57
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI85KWZ2N1v
But…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsUn5TIFht5
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJN557z3uAy
I still chose to believe in him in the end. To trust Kuroiwa’s words, that he wouldn’t let me fail. And he actually showed me why I should, he taught me, patiently and diligently. And whenever I wrote into the page of the blank notebooks that he always gave me, whether for solutions and answers or for copying a chapter of a book, it gave me a clear path to follow. And whenever I saw the progress that I was making before me, it made me feel relieved. It reminded me to be at ease, trust the road I was about to step on, and follow him where he was leading me to. Not blindly, of course.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdu2uU19oFx
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyUm2peeHU9
I lifted the top of my head so that my chin was on the table. I looked at Kuroiwa’s eyes. They were not looking at me or my hands near his. They were directed somewhere. Probably toward the kitchen, or probably at the sofa behind me. I didn’t know, I didn’t want to follow his gaze, but I looked at his eyes far longer than I realized.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUjX2R1P9vC
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡABXDdw19Hn
“You told me… you had a part time job before, right?” I asked. “What was it?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡqfUoYaMpa8
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7vbnca58gl
“I worked for a restaurant,” he answered, still not looking at me for some reason. But I was focusing more on his lips moving, and they distracted me. Because he did not just open his mouth once or twice, he spoke a whole sentence. “It was only a small restaurant though.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAhRaFOa9kl
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPjEHJtmQbH
I smiled, a little.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjJNbtWeehx
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3gBMzYY99G
“Why did you work there?”
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSMVztw2fil
“Because I figured, if I worked at the counter I would be able to learn how to socialize properly.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxLJNL4fLdW
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbTrWqo3XsC
“Really? Did you?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMZhbA9xdl9
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMU1O3zW3kh
“No, I was put in the kitchen.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHfKEGmTEM0
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡYCcx0kPvPj
“Aw, well, at least they thought you were good at cooking, that’s why they placed you in the kitchen instead.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdVTn9Zpq2O
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBKDmlfUWYE
“Probably.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyjIpW3q1a3
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5qdXB6CfRW
I puckered my lips to the side. One word, I didn’t like that. So, I tried again.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKW7BO7OIN1
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAowIi1GBK5
“When did you quit?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7uT33FMGja
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB1jMywjaHv
“Tuesday this week, after we talked in the classroom.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCeYIUTPDM
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBfLwiHpob0
I went quiet for a second. I wanted to lift my head but I couldn’t. Instead I tilted it sideways toward my arm to use it as a pillow.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIK7wT10Hcw
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoqclIM7cxb
“You quit before you knew I’d come?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpAJv4cKzQu
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡet19vZhfnt
“Partly.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ16GVGSX4xi
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8Yuq0O2Uul
“What if I didn’t come here?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC8m3rdAGa1
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7r9uwlpDy1
“Then, I would have more time to practice, or I'd just find another job.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnNEyAAuNtj
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrZESuUAVFN
Kuroiwa was more reckless than I thought. I thought he would answer ‘I know you would come’, but in the end, he didn’t even know what to expect.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡb8hnS0eBRY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpSmOGvK25m
I laughed. Quiet. Brief.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLHLGFAqeI5
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLT2QvTgdjp
But it was soon replaced by the other things Kuroiwa had said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbGTrCs5F8t
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtnzb5EY4US
For him to learn how to socialize. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEVQXuAL1c3
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZIe3Ub8yjY
I understood what Kuroiwa meant, because he was being avoided at school, ever since he was still in elementary school. I could explain why he was being avoided now. But I couldn’t imagine what he could have felt when he was still just a child. Isolated in a place where he spent most of his time. No one to talk to, no one who would talk to him. People would just go the opposite way whenever they saw him.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9pDtX20chr
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSAGpIWWlOV
It was something different for me. Mika had been with me since kindergarten, then Hina in fifth grade of elementary school, and Yui in middle school. I had friends that I grew up with, that I had been with. And that is why, I couldn’t believe he traded something important for something uncertain… for something that he didn’t need to care about… for me…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9tjVKG2vwp
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0VJXwhZg7T
“Were you glad I came?” I whispered.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ12oi4fygTY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3ZQiQFFImi
I didn’t know if Kuroiwa heard me. I didn’t bother to listen if he did. Instead, I settled even more to where I was, to what I was doing, and to what I was thinking. I wasn’t looking at his eyes anymore. I was staring at his hands. Those hands that made me pull back just yesterday. And now, I was looking at them in a different way.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl7pCGKI1Ag
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡREaMZaFeKZ
I pulled my arm back a little then aimed my hand directly at Kuroiwa’s hand. Slowly, I moved it closer. Every inch my fingers traced on top of the table was a line I was drawing to bridge a gap I never intended to exist. Every second I counted, every breath I felt. I was just looking. I was just reaching. Carefully. Silently.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJrCB7iCevZ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9nLrkFjJJB
Five inches… three inches…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjmKSH35uae
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrnvsV2eoyY
Kuroiwa lifted his hand a little.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡI6zBdP6FTF
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi0U3V3Jplu
“Don’t move,” I said, the same way I did the first time. Except, this time, I knew I was pleading.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpaM28ygk54
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCiujCGRU5D
He let it down. Then there was only an inch left before my hand touched his. I stopped.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQ6vYuFMPLF
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGvEmEM28bk
I let my hand rest before that inch of a gap, but my eyes never rested. I looked at Kuroiwa’s hand with a lot of interest, with curiosity. Examined it like it was a piece of architecture sculpted into art. It wasn’t quite as elegant as you would think a piece of art could be. It was bigger than mine. Rough. Long fingers. I couldn’t see his palm entirely as it was facing down, but I could see callouses that had formed on them. A few, but everywhere.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSc3348U3nF
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡzWjEi6Tnhd
This hand before my eyes was supposed to be dangerous. Something he would use to claim his condition. But I didn’t know why I was seeing it differently, right now…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhgj118zm8x
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwW5S7qqcQY
Maybe, because this hand was the hand that patiently taught me, that diligently showed me how to solve an equation, that was always careful. The hand that he used to write and fill a quarter of thick notebooks, nine thick notebooks. Twenty five pages already took two hours for me. I couldn’t imagine the exhaustion, the time, and care he put into writing nine notebooks that were almost twice as much as I had written today. With a lot of details. With a lot of thought.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8MptXFPh5Z
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWPOzmGrk5h
And he did all that… for me…”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA6XTLpVcne
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhRWRDWmYAC
Yui had always insisted that Kuroiwa did what he did for a deeper reason. A reason which was something more than just helping me. I had denied it every time. But right now, I was wondering… 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPBosRyRlVa
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVAEXE4mCzx
Maybe…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C1npNsVfN
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe9TK65lV4D
I lifted my finger. The one between my middle finger and my thumb. It grazed the tip of Kuroiwa’s index finger and I laid it there, just touching, just resting.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡhWR1J8pZVp
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx3uyXW9r4q
Kuroiwa’s condition was about touching me. Five minutes for every subject I failed. But he never said specifically what that meant. This right now, was still touching.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9txMB9sQGL
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnI0dJQV32f
I pressed my finger to his. Not deep, but shallow. I stayed there for a while.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡfS8pdtH8nb
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCEue8mMj3p
I waited…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡegJVB4Ev9E
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2e7RUMYQqi
Maybe, if this was the kind of touch he was talking about. Maybe five minutes of this wouldn’t be that bad.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjm6IowOVLV
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHyj034WtK0
My eyes narrowed, still staring, still observing. Kuroiwa did not move as I told him. But the flutter in my stomach did. And it moved upward to my chest, but it was completely different from yesterday. It was something I had never felt before, something I wasn’t sure of, and something that stung through my chest but embraced me with warmth afterwards.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7rsncT1jFz
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡbpwymoRcAp
I circled my finger on top of Kuroiwa’s nail, then moved upward to the skin just below his nail. I tapped it, and he moved it. I giggled and tapped it again. It didn’t move this time.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLx4AHJD6c2
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLRd1oGFmkW
This felt comfortable, like familiar. My eyes started to close on their own, and my finger rested on top of his.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXIImYG4si9
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrzWt9ADRT2
Maybe… it would be fine… to actually think about it…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlxoDykcmaL
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZx0gfVon9E
Was there something more? More than just to help.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMGTg6eli9x
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKl1TKhWh6b
I didn’t know what answer I would want to hear from Kuroiwa. I didn’t know if I really wanted an answer coming from him at all. Yet I wanted to explore, to search for it, to find the answer myself.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡv35xEi1w6J
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5yrkadRQg
I lifted my finger from Kuroiwa’s. I folded it and tried to lift his finger. I did it a few times until Kuroiwa realized what I wanted him to do, and he did. I placed my finger below his, which was now lifted. I waited. His finger would occasionally drop, and when he touched mine, he would lift it up again. But eventually, slowly, carefully, and gently, he laid his finger on mine and stayed there.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡK8MFWmiF8n
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡveAjHRrddh
Kuroiwa’s calloused finger was rough on top of mine. But I felt his warmth… faintly… yet tenderly…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC5irD0uISs
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVJLoZF22gY
One more second… I wanted this moment to last… just give me one more second…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4JWVRDZKcj
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5vOXxsm8kj
“Uhh… Miyase-san?” I finally heard him talk. I still kept my eyes closed. “Th-... uhh… the rice…”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9fpxeKi5pJ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtkRHe149yH
Was he stuttering? What was going on?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡa5MpvnxOpa
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwdG2VQCRN2
I opened my eyes and peeked at his face.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmNAfDdKwTy
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8sqhccysm1
Kuroiwa was hiding it, but I saw it. He was facing the other way and from the corner of his cheek… It was red. Blushing. I had never seen him like this before.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZYlQA0UnoI
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡh76DmrTM77
My eyes widened then I felt skin under my finger. And suddenly I realized what I had just been doing for the past five minutes.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡza6TmVCyJe
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZGjIgH7mf
I pulled my finger, stood straight and looked the opposite direction from where Kuroiwa was looking. He stood up, fast, the fastest I had seen him move.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡooF68lJ3Hs
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡld3dRTqn2r
“I-I am just going to… uhh… the kitchen,” he said, trying to maintain his usual tone. He was mostly successful but the way he stuttered said otherwise. When I looked at him, he wasn’t walking the same way he usually did. It was still slow, but not as precise and controlled as before. Stiff. Unsteady.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDEW6nOnqIX
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡukFJ366Klf
Once he left the living room, I checked myself. There was heat building in my cheeks. I couldn’t believe it. What was I doing? What was I thinking?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡx2g48ABKnc
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIh70o2qGqq
I lowered my head and covered my cheeks with both hands. I never intended that. Was I really that tired that I just did whatever my curious mind asked of me? Mika was right, I was too impulsive.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡtuPezZpBH4
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWzPdSlk3P4
“Oh my god,” I whispered to myself. And inside I was screaming. My thoughts were scrambling. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmcWSpIQ1CD
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡwk2IBETYGF
I just stood there, not moving.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpZkRcr4ktE
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQlQO9xWzWE
“Miyase-san, the rice is ready,” Kuroiwa said, his voice steadier than a few minutes ago. “I cooked two portions, enough for both of us, so if you don’t mind, you can eat lunch here.”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTRKGqNgIaJ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡS3dcnNYhwL
“Okay,” I replied.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6RFIsY0SjP
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUJDtGdcF2R
I let go of my face. I pouted for a second. It seemed like Kuroiwa recovered fast from what just happened. While I was still contemplating why I did what I did.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3qdQofrtN1
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVvIxbFJ4jX
That doesn’t seem fair! I thought.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs9r4DdXE3M
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcKBY45pwO0
I took a deep breath before I decided to walk toward the kitchen. I was slow, reluctant even. I didn’t look in Kuroiwa’s direction. I just walked.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBp9e2SJYy8
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2tU8tVy3Tg
“That one's for you,” Kuroiwa said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡaar3NNtn1M
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡVEhhSLiH8k
A portion was already set on the dining table. I quietly went and sat down before it. I breathed in for a second, and let it out soon after, then pressed my hands together.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6rzzXMiCCn
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡitzHr2vISW
“Thanks for the food,” I said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZK7CRZQ5ZF
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlLotgYqZBZ
I stared at the dish. Golden crisped skin, perfectly fried salmon. The color was still tinted with pink while the fat glistened all over it. The aroma I faintly smelled earlier now reached my nose with a clear savory smell. My stomach reacted. This looked good. It was a simple fried salmon but it looked like it was cooked by some famous chef.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ34ahj4VvS6
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡXzi1Pv5IKs
I wanted to look at Kuroiwa but I resisted. I wanted to marvel at him for his ability to cook but the embarrassment still lingered in my cheeks.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡf2VhILsjfb
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡpdkADcdaOp
“This dish is good for the brain,” Kuroiwa said as I felt him sitting at the opposite side of the table. At the other end, diagonally from me.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe2pwrPKCis
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAQjhp0W95r
I sulked on it for a bit. Even after all that, there was still a gap between us.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ50evrY4IHG
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡO0DMznD3eK
Well, this is Kuroiwa after all.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡLh6Rcf8zfE
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡC7za2cgmYv
I sighed. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡdBh5WDblxV
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkdVIxZliUz
I took the chopsticks that were carefully placed beside the bowl of rice. I was getting impatient to try Kuroiwa’s cooking but then I realized something felt strange.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡWYPwgRMO8v
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNlMJPHqS0j
Kuroiwa did recover fast, at least that was how it seemed. He was talking with his flat voice again, and when he was not talking, he would be quiet like always. But this quiet seemed different. If he truly was himself again, he would already be eating by now. But there was no movement from him except when he sat down.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡImsOLpTvZ4
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡPHHSab5D1m
I had to answer the calls of my curiosity. So, I tilted my head a little bit to glance at him from the corner of my eye. Then I saw him, still facing the other way, still not looking at me.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1GmYLFfF4f
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMf2unBmkmS
I suddenly sat straight and fully turned my head to gaze at him.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡc3kJKuaBB8
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRD5hO7cBaP
“Aren’t you going to eat?” I asked.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEoeH0Jc05d
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA7ZuXDaVMd
Still not moving his head, Kuroiwa slowly pressed his hands together.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡUN3FvuL5gY
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMUIGZD8APM
“Thanks for the food,” Kuroiwa said. He lifted his bowl of rice and turned. His whole body was now facing the other way, instead of toward the table.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnCeYgJx1Gz
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡcDxHRFmRI9
“What’s wrong?” I asked.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmW2fTytrVb
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡMkVqCZ6MKD
“Nothing…”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡQncbWvLkii
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡs4imaMtJNj
“Are you being shy?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡubGWm6orNI
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRbJ5BM8xwc
Kuroiwa stood up, carrying his dish along with his bowl of rice.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡsesyuLshDZ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnFyNuvDnkM
“I-I think I’m going to eat in the living room,” Kuroiwa said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ9x4ESx54iB
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡe7RbpLNUZB
“Why?”49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ7EC8xlWQn7
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAd7l4t7Fzv
Kuroiwa didn’t answer. Even though his back was turned to me, I saw his shoulders move up and down as he took a deep breath. And another.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCmDP1Y5abW
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡul4JLYBIwr
“Sorry,” Kuroiwa said, and just like that, he continued to walk the way he usually did toward the living room.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2EBlITImDe
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjMvJ9WUDoY
I giggled. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡgqAs772Jhs
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSmKoW7FddK
That was something. It was so unexpected. And to think he could actually make expressions other than his stern and strict exterior, but his interior actually carried more than what he had shown.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEuGvM8MZ2k
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5gPE5JEtyV
I stared at the dish Kuroiwa cooked. Then I smiled. I picked up the chopsticks and lifted the bowl of rice with my hand. I pinched a piece of the salmon and put it inside my mouth.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡvLi8Jmb4oL
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡg8abfHkaE9
I chewed…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ4c2V1DDlR6
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ07xMizlZht
I chewed some more…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡp8hSmm2lgC
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeWOqZ4cRIB
I tilted my head. There was something wrong. I looked at the dish. It was presented so well that the dish itself was tempting me to eat it just by staring at it. I couldn’t resist, so I pinched another portion. I put it in my mouth and chewed.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoy4LMIuSy4
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ42DD4UHbtj
It was bland. There was not enough salt put in it. It was still edible but…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrew8UoJA0L
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡFhAWWnpA0Q
I laughed. I laughed for a few seconds. I looked at Kuroiwa and I knew he was trying not to stare at me but I got his attention from laughing too hard.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡB5LHQkABt7
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkIXZJpex0T
“Sorry,” I said, then he continued eating peacefully again. I was a little bit worried that maybe he would think I was strange for laughing suddenly by myself. But, Kuroiwa had always been subverting all my expectations of him. It was all unexpected. Especially this time, I was really surprised.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ1C7u9UNgj8
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRvA514ldN9
I thought Kuroiwa was a delinquent at first, but it turned out he was more gentle than how I had seen him. I thought he would be scary, but it turned out he was more caring than he had shown. He could be inconsiderate at times, considerate at other times, or sometimes both. Clumsy, hard working, dense, and thoughtful, he was a mess scattered around a maze of strangeness. Something that I was being tempted to solve. And now, I was completely tempted.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡt7ulCOS72i
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡmLo9bF4uwd
I took more bites of the salmon. I ate some of the rice too.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSNoFooiV9x
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3CfZjcZyHY
The more I ate the fish, I smiled. And whenever I did, the fish suddenly tasted sweeter.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡHxXPYO7gzu
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkC5GbLNNj
…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0me0Gg1zQO
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡAZYhHwgYl5
…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡiGzuXnLMAG
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡX8sTIiZdsj
…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkNRAdgs5rD
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOsrHeJnDbw
It was still bland after all…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡKCubx3Tb17
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ0p9ZaDinNf
—----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡIY5rT2t98b
4:06 pm.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡM7ASEg6kVw
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡxXAwnVdYl1
The sky was still blue, but the clouds were now starting to show patches of orange sewn into them. The walk home felt lighter than I remembered, almost like I was floating on each step. I thought of what happened after lunch. The study sessions started a little bit slower compared to this morning. Kuroiwa would be less strict than usual, and I would be less focused than I had liked. But in the end, his strictness came back and I was forced to focus, because otherwise I would have to start from the very beginning. Science and Japanese literature. There was another subject after those two, supposedly. But I had promised Mom that I would come home before dinner. I supposed there was still time, but I wouldn’t really want to explore that time since I really didn’t want to deal with Mom’s wrath if I had to be late because I wanted to stay for a few more minutes. So I told him. He said it was fine, but also said that I had to come earlier tomorrow, eight in the morning. I had stared at him narrowly with my eyes flat, briefly. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlHyTwmMXxW
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡRn6EZT9JG5
Well, I guessed I had to wake up early in the morning then.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡkn3ODHfOOg
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEsi2CLwsL2
I asked him if he was going to walk me to the station. Kuroiwa hesitated, flustered, and started stuttering again when he answered. As soon as my eyes were like that, a smile had formed on my lips. I felt the urge to tease him. I didn’t know why, but it seemed like seeing more of Kuroiwa unbalanced felt amusing. I was making him that way, and I felt I was the only one who could do it. Too bad I had to leave though.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡl4Vro27KJU
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡrXeBzyKSlC
Next time... I’d tease him next time. I thought.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZL9X113YJa
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNQ0OLPhkmr
I chuckled for a bit. I had been giggling all afternoon, all to myself. And I couldn’t believe that just this morning I almost felt like the world was going to end. It didn’t end, and in fact, the world had grown. It had grown bigger so that with just a simple reach of my hand, I could pluck away any star from the sky, whichever I wanted, whenever I wanted. At least, that was how I felt. But I didn’t know why. I didn’t care why. I just wanted it.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡd0WuTkp1HJ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡuEe3InZqDJ
Just a few walks away before I reached home, I could already see it ahead of me. I slowed down. I didn’t want this to end yet. If I reached the door of my house. If I turned the knob and entered. This fond feeling I had inside me. Would it go away?
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡeSeYNys7nr
I passed by Mika’s house, and I stared where the window of her room was. I wondered what she was doing right now. Probably, she was still studying.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEutmVL7Acw
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡm4XTpXObl1
Finally I reached home. I opened the small gate and looked below the main entrance door. I searched thoroughly. My phone wasn’t there. I closed the gate behind me and went inside the house. I searched the floor. Still wasn’t there.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ80LnBbtaEh
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡntIAdV1ZCN
“I’m home,” I announced.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6G3PTlIRnT
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡOgMFt1DlLQ
I bent down and lifted my foot behind me to remove my sandal. I used the cabinet where our shoes usually were stored to balance myself. After I was done, I stood up. When my eyes scanned the area for another attempt to find my phone, I found it at the top of the cabinet. Relief came out with my breath.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ6SrLFZ2Lzo
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡjiW5q8vwLw
“I found you!” I shouted in joy.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDj63fM4HeJ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3yTRNi5y7p
A whole day without my phone, I couldn’t believe I even survived. But now that I was reunited with it, there was no way I would let it go, ever again.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGMbpLXc7NR
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡoxF288lzJL
I turned the screen on. A few notifications had shown up, from the private group chat I had with my friends, swipe, from Yui, swipe, from Hina, swipe, and from other classmates. I swiped all of them. I just wanted to see. I’d reply to them later after I was able to change. 49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡF1ZUyfY6UB
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡJJLiLaq1LG
But one notification caught my eye, the one from Mika.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡZ5w4e5rEGQ
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡnB0sHSdnH2
I tapped on it.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡDRhN7oQHWf
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ3tqUcW8DqR
Mika: I’m sorry, Runa…49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡD94MI4msIp
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡGLpmqBMSCa
I stared at my phone for a few moments.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡNFVRGi6Oi6
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡTTaftENb60
Why?49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡEOlNz9hOrP
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡlOMbUArDSd
I was in the middle of reading the rest of what Mika messaged me when my mom suddenly appeared from the living room doorway. My head turned to her.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡyxMNECZCW3
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡBQrGWCEJxA
“Come inside the living room. We need to talk,” Mom said.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ5bam3DgMvO
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡCkvGSlTJSP
My fingers stopped, my breathing stopped, my heart stopped.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡA1G9KM0QCm
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡto1JjvtmR5
Mom’s voice, when she asked me to talk, was firm, was strict and was filled with authority. Not the voice I wanted to hear when I just got home.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡSpM2nZxyEm
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡazGIoabL7P
Deep breaths. The day was not ending yet.49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ2GahkGmUum
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡi1Y6xAlgS6
And when I thought everything was starting to feel better, I had a feeling that it was about to get worse.
49Please respect copyright.ＰＥＮＡＮＡ8ll4dzJfwB
→ Request update
and then Add to home screen.